Today I cleaned my room...a lot. I packed many things into a couple boxes to bring down to Santa Barbara where I will be living at the Plex. To be honest, I never thought I would be bringing so many things down to SB. The reason I did so was to make space...for when my cousin moves into my room. As I went through all my things, I thought of many things that came and went in my life: people, places, things...and I realize I have experienced so much to come to where I am today.
While rummaging my drawers, I've seen things like a certificate of baptism, a CD with video of my baptism in 9th grade, a letter from 2005 inviting me to become a member of my youth group, and little journals or albums with pictures of when I was in Japan. I even saw a letter from my 6th grade teacher that encouraged me a bit. Thinking back, Japan was not too bad. There were good experiences I have largely forgotten, and I am thankful that the bad experiences have helped me grow as well. It is interesting to think about how God has used all of that to bring me where I am today, and I know that there is still room to grow.
If you are curious about the title, it is because my birthday is on December 19th. The room was built while I was living here in elementary school and even before I lived in Japan. Why did I choose my birthday as the name of the room? Because my cousin who is moving into my room also has the same birthday as me. Ergo, I thought it would be interesting to name it after our birthday. Granted, there have been other people who lived in my room while I was in Japan like the sister of one of my classmates in high school who I have been in school plays with. I did not even know their family rented my house while we were in Japan until I was in the middle of high school and have known them for a while. Even though there have been other occupants who have had different birthdays, I have been the only occupant of this room while my family lived in this house, and soon my cousin with the same person will be the second.
All these random connections I formed in my head...could they all just been coincidence or did God place all these to make me think about how crazy all these connections are? Whatever the case, I still find it interesting how there is so many connections to this room. I wish I was more appreciative of it.
I remember before I moved to Japan, I did not like this room. I would sleep in my older brother's room because I did not like sleeping alone and hated how there were spider webs hanging on the corner of the ceiling above my bed. When I moved to Japan, I learned how to sleep alone in my own room, and I grew to love having my own room. After coming back from Japan, I could sleep in my own room and not go to my brother's room like I used to.
On the shelf are trophies from when I was much younger. They come from little league baseball or from Chinese school. There's at least one plaque from cross country and my high school diploma. There are also photo albums, a whole bunch of CDs from when I was younger, and other memorabilia. Now looking into the closet, it seems empty apart from a humidifier and my clothes for tomorrow before going back to Santa Barbara. The nun-chucks that mysteriously appeared in my closet has been taken by my mom to be donated. The keyboard that used to be by my balcony door has been packed into my car, and the TV that was supposed to be handed down to me from my parents' room is now being donated since I have no need for it in college. All the packaging for GBA games that used to be in one of my drawers are packed as well, and I'm leaving behind furniture, a lamp, desk lamp, a desktop computer, printer, and a radio that may or may not be donated in the future. Next to me is a Pikachu clock I plan on bringing to SB. There are other junk I really do not feel like describing.
Why am I writing all this? I just feel like reminiscing, and describing what my room is like now just helps me think about how rarely I use it now that I'm in Santa Barbara for school. While it is likely I'll be returning after I graduate, I do not know for sure. I am unsure about many things. With many of my things packed, I feel like I am moving ahead while still carrying some things from the past to remember. Although I know I should not linger on the past and focus on the future, I cannot help but think that maybe keeping some things from the past will help me remember what I have learned in the twenty years of my life. I cannot wait to see where God leads me in this next stage of my life that I have only been getting used to this past two years. Although I am worried about many things like my parents' views of the Church, I can only trust that God will lead me through it all. After all, Jesus did tell us to give up everything if we wanted to follow Him. I pray that this summer in Santa Barbara, God will help me grow even more.
Until next time,
Kenneth
No comments:
Post a Comment