It's been a while since I last posted anything. I haven't really felt like I needed to write anything for many reasons. One being stress over changing majors and having a busy quarter catching up on reading. Another reason would be because I feel like my heart hasn't been in the right place. I haven't been actively building my relationship with Jesus like I was months ago. Instead of trusting Him in all I do, I had been relying on myself to do all the things I needed to get done. I guess that's why I have not been posting here.
Sure, I have been active in participating in a whole bunch of ministries. However, I've been asking myself if I had been doing it for the right reasons. I definitely need to get back into the habit of having quiet time again. Still, I find myself distracted by homework, by searching random stuff on the Internet, and trying to find time to hang out with people. The last two reasons are not very good reasons to be distracted. I think I need an accountability partner, and I definitely need to schedule my time better.
Last week, I met with John Hannon, my discipler. We basically spent the time organizing my schedule. He taught me how to use Google Calendar. It helped me realize how busy my schedule was, and I basically assigned all the free time I have to studying. My plan with free time had always been to use it all on studying until I'm done with all my reading and homework. Then for the rest of the time I would hang out. That is not a very good plan on my part. I need to actually schedule Jesus time in some of my free time. However, when I did schedule Jesus time after my 8AM, I ended up doing something else. I have also been falling asleep everywhere. I definitely need more self-control...
Last week I received a bid to pledge Alpha Gamma Omega again. For those of you who don't know it, it is a Christian fraternity. I definitely would like to join it, but it takes a lot of time commitment which is something I don't have much of. There are other reasons for me not joining like not being able to answer some questions, but I was influenced by someone to not join. Later, I talked to Finnegan about why I decided not to join. He told me I shouldn't let other people influence my decision, and he talked about how he feels that people judge AGO as a fraternity without actually knowing what it is like. He also talked about how AGO does a great job at keeping people accountable, which is something I know I need right now. The talk gave me more reasons for why I would want to join. However, I decided that I'm still too busy this quarter. I now wonder if I made the right choice...
I definitely know what I need. Jesus obviously. But I also know that I should schedule my time better, and I need accountability. It's motivating myself that's the hard part. I need to give it all up to Jesus, and trust that He will take care of it. Sorry for my "rant", but that is what I felt like doing right now.
Until next time,
Kenneth
