Halloween Week, Inheritance and Identity Conference, etc...

I don't think this post will have a specific focus. It's just summarizing what has been going on with me lately.

On November 3rd while I was in the prayer shed, I flipped into two different parts of the Bible randomly. They landed on Psalm 22 and Isaiah 53, both prophetic words about Jesus and what he went through on the cross. What amazes me was I didn't plan on where I opened the Bible to; those chapters just happened to come up. It totally reminded me of how awesome the Bible can be...especially since those books were written many years before the birth of Jesus.

These past two weeks have been pretty crazy. I feel like I'm going through a season of prayer. The last week of October, there was 24/7 prayer in the prayer shed for Halloween. I pretty much went everyday. It was definitely a great experience where I got to spend quiet time with God, read the Bible, being encouraged by people's entries in the prayer journal, worship, and even trying a couple times at prophetic art. Definitely surprised that I don't draw as badly as I thought...I loved how God used that time to give me peace. I also got interpretation on my spiritual language and I found that to be awesome. I've learned to love the broken even more this year, and I learned to love the homeless more and interact with them more. If you want and are able to, you can walk into the prayer shed behind the Jesus Burgers house and I'm sure you can read my entries in the prayer journal.

During this last weekend, I went to the Inheritance and Identity Conference IVC held. It was definitely encouraging and awesome to meet about 40 people from IHOP Kansas City. It was also cool to hear about a couple of them having interacted with people I knew back home. Some things I have been learning with this conference going on it even more are that my main call is to be God's son and that to love is to sacrifice. It has definitely encouraged me since I have been worried off and on about what I'm "called" to do. It's great to know that I don't have to worry because I am God's son and he will help me get to where I need to be. It also taught me that there's still a lot about love I need to learn about.

The prayer time I got to do with friends from IVC and the people of IHOP was amazing. I got "drunk" in the spirit multiple times during the weekend. At the same time, there were times where I feel attacked by my flesh when I wasn't spending time in prayer. Through this, I learned to share more about myself.

I had been sharing my personal testimony quite a few times this year. In the past, I never really shared it mostly because I was afraid it wasn't that great and because not many people really asked. I feel like I'm going through a season where I am becoming a lot more open than I used to. It has been great spending one on one time with different people and sharing my testimony. At the same time, it is great getting encouragement about it as well. I actually plan on sharing my testimony next Monday with freshmen and sophomore men of Real Life during our "Manliest Man Group of All Man Time" meeting. Definitely want to pray that God leads me in what I say and that it will build the others up to have a closer relationship to Him.

It has been a blessing to hang out with IHOP students and to pray with them. I love how they have a heart for God and the time they sacrifice committed to prayer. It was interesting to find that they are encouraged by us because we live in IV and that they feel they would fall if they were in an environment like this. I'm glad we could encourage them, but I still feel like they were a blessing to us as well.

About two nights ago, one of the IHOP students told me to share Isaiah 60:1-5 with the rest of IVC. Since everyone in the room was in prayer and getting drunk off the spirit, I only told one person at the time. However, last night I showed up to IHOP's prayer meeting with Pastor Jason and a few other IVC people in there. During that time, I remembered that I was supposed to share it, and so I read it out loud even though there weren't that many people from IVC. After the prayer meeting, one of the IHOP guys came up to me and told me he saw me as a preacher and commented on the way I spoke. I've definitely never saw myself as a preacher or even a good speaker, so I tried reminding him that someone else told me to share it. He then tells me that that doesn't matter because God still used me to repeat it. I was encouraged by it, but had doubts about being a good speaker due to being socially awkward especially when I speak in front of people. However, a few minutes later, my friend Michelle told me she got a vision for me. She told me that while I was reading out of Isaiah 60, she saw me as a completely different person speaking powerfully in front of a crowd. She was part of the crowd and did not recognize me at first, but she realized it was me. Then she saw through my eyes and saw a large crowd. She then tells me that if I continue to seek God, He will transform me from a socially awkward person to a powerful speaker. I was stunned hearing that, and I had no idea how to respond. She then told me that I should not fear that my testimony is not good enough or fear that people will ignore me. She then prayed boldness over me that I may be able to share my testimony and be brave enough to speak.

Having two people telling me they see me as a speaker hit me hard because I would never see myself as one nor did I ever felt the desire to become one. I've only had a moment where I thought it would be cool to pray over large crowds, and that happened when I was at Jesus Culture and I saw my friend Brandon Smith on stage praying over everyone there. If that is what God wants from me, I pray that he will open my heart to it and open doors because it sounds so cool. I also want to pray that my parents hearts will open to it because I know they are totally against it and want me to get into the business world to become successful according to the world's standards. There is still fear in my heart that my parents will disown me for disobeying or dishonoring them. I definitely know God will provide even if my family never talks to me again, but that fear still has some hold that I want released.

Honestly, I didn't think I'd make this long of a post. I feel kind of narcissistic for mostly talking about myself, but I guess the purpose of the blog is to see how God continually changes me. If you feel like this blog post isn't glorifying God, I apologize because I know I am flawed and I can sometimes focus too much on myself. I pray that in whatever I do, I do it to glorify Him. In conclusion, I hope you are doing well in Him too.

Until next time,
Kenneth