Struggles During Worship...

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one who gets distracted by thoughts during worship. My mind sometimes wonder elsewhere, or I might doze off if I sit down during it. It's not fun when it happens because when I worship, I want all my focus to be on God and not on things that don't matter.

For example, last Sunday was like a worship day for me. In the morning the service at Reality Carpenteria was mostly a time of worship. Then there was worship at IV Church in the afternoon. Finally, I went to the worship night Ian does every week for our class. Needless to say, during each time of worship, I would be distracted by a thought instead of my heart being completely into it.

In the morning, I was pretty tired. I also felt conscious about how I worshiped and wondered what others would think if I went all out during worship. As a result, I didn't dance in worship nor did I feel completely surrendered to God. I felt some guilt over that when I know I probably shouldn't. I should have probably directed my thoughts back to how awesome God is.

Later in the afternoon, I decided to attend IVC since I was done with homework and wanted to go there more often. I felt myself drifting off at the beginning of service. When there was a worship set at the end of the service, I was distracted by the time. Ironically, I was in a rush for it to end because I wanted to go to our class's worship night. It wasn't a very good reason to get distracted by the time since I would have been using the time to worship God either way. It is still pretty ridiculous that I would want to finish worship earlier when God would much rather have my heart in complete surrender to Him.

That night during our Sophomore worship night, we went to the small park area across the street from Jesus Burgers. I thought it would be a good time to put all my focus on God. Again, I get distracted. This time, I was worried about what the people who lived in the houses we were between would think. It is a small thing to worry about, and I'm sure they don't mind. However, my thoughts wondered on whether the people were judging us. I know what others think of us worshiping does not matter. It is sad that I would think about that instead of devoting my time and thoughts in worship.

Looking at these situations, I can say I need a lot more patience. God delights in our worship. I should not be worried about the things going on, what others think, or whether I should be doing something else. I want to surrender myself to God when I worship. It's something I think would be nice for you guys to pray for.

Until next time,
Kenneth