Mind or Heart?

"I know it with my mind... So why does my heart disagree?"

That's the status my friend Malory has on facebook at the moment. It's a question I ask myself often. When I replied to the status, I said, "Because sometimes the heart desires something completely different from what the mind knows." It may be a cliche answer or even seem like a repeat of the question, but the heart does have desires. Those desires may be good, but they can be bad as well. We might covet something we were never supposed to get, or we may be tempted to do something incredibly stupid. That's why I usually try acting out of my mind's reasoning over what I want to do.

An issue I'm sure I've had for a while can relate to this. To be honest, it's a topic I don't really like talking about except to a few trusted people which I might even go into more detail with. Besides a period of time this summer, I would keep having crushes on girls for the longest time. I'm sure most, if not all, people may struggle with crushes, but whenever I have one, it would last for a long period of time. It's an issue I dislike dealing with. My heart might tell me to get into a relationship with them, but my mind tells me it probably won't work out and God already knows who I'm going to marry in the future anyways. In this case, my mind always wins because I feel I shouldn't be messing around with dating if God already has someone planned out for me.

You might ask "how do you know who God wants you to marry" which I might answer with "I don't know". Honestly, the only thing I know to do about this issue is to be patient about it. When the time comes, it comes. As for now, it will be an issue I struggle with in my thoughts.

However, I think there are times where the heart may be right over the mind. Look at Daisy Love. When her tumor came back, the doctor said that she had less than 50% chance of surviving. Yet we continued praying about it through our hearts, and God answered those prayers. Daisy Love is doing much better now and they can now easily operate to remove the tumor. It's amazing to see how much God worked with one girl.

Then there are issues that could be considered minor where I have no idea what to do. One part of me wants to rush for AGO again, but another says that I probably won't have the commitment needed to be in it. I question whether it's a good idea for me to try again, and I wonder if my reasons for wanting to join are good enough. I know that I can still be friends with them without having to be a member, but I think it would be nice to be part of it too. It's something I'm still praying about and still don't have an answer to.

It's really hard to make decisions when the mind tells you one thing but the heart wants something else. That is why I usually try praying about them. Even then I still feel like I don't have an answer. Maybe I should be more patient about these issues. What are your thoughts?

Until next time,
Kenneth