Thanksgiving 2011*

*Title is like that because it will be hard to come up with unique titles every Thanksgiving.

With that said, I pretty much forgot to post on the actual day because I also had a 10 page paper in mind, summaries for all my readings, and possibly write a support letter for next Epic Conference...and I should stop going on a tangent at the very beginning of the post.

I'm a very selfish person. It's not that I don't care about others, which I really do care for others, but the context is more like I have high expectations and many desires. For example, I want every Thanksgiving to be spent with family and relatives. Of course, that only happens once every two years because my little brother has tennis tournaments in LA every other year. Ergo, I missed my family's Thanksgiving dinner this year because they decided to have it before going down to LA, and I was in Santa Barbara when they had the dinner. How do I react? By complaining or telling people I'm probably going to Denny's for Thanksgiving dinner. That's definitely not the right way for me to react to the situation, and I probably end up sounding like I want attention or desire sympathy. The funny thing is, I've had this mindset about Thanksgiving since high school, and it is the opposite of what Thanksgiving is actually about. What's also funny is I didn't think about it in this context until this year, my third year in college.

Instead of trying to expect a "perfect" Thanksgiving of having dinner with family and relatives, I need to have the mindset that this day is a reminder that we need to give thanks to God for all that we have. I'm lucky to even get dinner at Coco's on Thanksgiving Day with two of my cousins. I've had more of a "traditional" Thanksgiving dinner last Saturday, with some of my IVC family. I'm blessed to know all these wonderful people. I definitely should have been more grateful about Robbie inviting me in the first place.

I definitely need to give up my high expectations and be happy with all that I already have. Instead of telling people I don't get presents from my family on my birthday or Christmas, I need to appreciate that I still even have a family. I'm thankful that I can spend time with family no matter how much I feel hurt by them sometimes. I'm thankful for my family in Christ and how supportive they have been to me. This does not just include IVC or Cru or AGO/ADX, but people in other groups as well who I might not be as involved with. This year I haven't been as involved with my Epic Ohana because of schedule conflicts, but that doesn't mean I don't love them anymore. I'm also thankful for my friends who are in AACF, knowing at least four people from my hall first year that are involved. Everyone has been inviting and open, and I wish I can do the same. I wish I can be more open when I actually talk to people.

Sometimes I wish I could give more than to just receive. I just don't know what I can give...I don't know what I can do for people.

And yet I have to remind myself that there is freedom in Jesus. I shouldn't be hard on myself all the time. I am most thankful for God, for all that he has done. He is the reason I have things to be thankful about.

I'm also thankful for the invisible readers out there. When I say invisible, it is because I don't know who actually reads this.

I'm blessed to have so much in my life. I really need to stop complaining about my "problems" that aren't really big.

Thanks for reading all of this.

Until next time,
Kenneth