Thanks for an amazing first year of college

So here is the promised post where I get to thanks groups and specific people for how they affected me my first year...actually it's more like I'm gonna talk about what I like about people, but I'm also thanking people. I'm probably going to forget mentioning people or writing things, so I apologize in advance. Honestly, there's too many people for me to mention. Note: I wrote down 46 names, but that's too much so I cut down...a lot. I even cut ones I finished. Sorry if you aren't one of the specifics I mentioned.

To start, I'll go with groups.

AGO - You guys are awesome! You were the first people I met at Santa Barbara because when I was moving into the dorms, I called for you guys to help me move in! Of course, I ended up not really needing much help, but I'm going to thank you for showing up anyways! It was your mass e-mail to random people that introduced me to the fraternity before I even started my first year. It was a joy hanging out with you guys. I also did enjoy pledging during spring quarter while it lasted. Honestly, I never thought I would try pledging for a fraternity, but the idea of a Christ centered fraternity (and the fact I knew Molloy from back home while knowing Finnegan and Bracken from my hall)influenced me to try it out. I'm not totally sure if I'm going to try pledging again due to the time and financial commitment involved (that's something I need to pray about), but I will most surely enjoy visiting and hanging out in the future.

Real Life - I did not really attend too much during Fall quarter because of homework for econ class due at the same night, so I only went to fall retreat, Christmas party, and a few meetings. Winter quarter I went every week because of no classes Fridays. I can definitely say I enjoyed attending it every week and all the things you guys put up. It was a great place to meet so many people, and I definitely made a lot of friends from different classes. There are times where people will say hi to me and I feel bad about not knowing their names. I think it should be a good thing since that says that you guys are a loving group. I hope some of the friends I made here are life lasting.

Epic - I love the Epic ohana! I didn't attend at all during Fall quarter because I felt it focuses more on Asian Americans and I didn't want to just hang out with Asians. Obviously that changed by Fall quarter after some people invited me, and I've enjoyed attending (even though I fall asleep sometimes from exhaustion :P). I'm sure I will always remember the Disneyland trip we went on together for Give a Day Get a Day. I've also met people here who don't really attend Real Life. It's great to be a part of a group I can directly call 'ohana'.

Last but not least Real Life Class of 2013 - Yes, you apply to Real Life as well, but we also hung out so much outside of Real Life that I feel I should include it as its own category. It was great getting close to all of you. I enjoyed giving rides to many people, whether it was to all the random events or to Reality. I've made so many memories with you guys, and I hope we can stay close as a group. I loved the worship nights we had, and all the last minute stuff too! We'll for sure try winning BOTA in the future. ;)

And now for individuals which I'll try putting in ABC order so that I can try not playing favorites.

Alex Johnson - Thanks for being a great listener. I wish I could have talked to you about more stuff, but I was having more fun than actual problems to talk about. I like how you brave the cold a lot to do worship at campus point every couple of Sundays. I think I first officially met you when I went to late night for the first time and randomly saw you and Meredith. I hope to get to know you better next year.

Alex 'Finnegan' Paige - You are one of the first people I met at UCSB since you live on my floor. I remember the first night in FT during the ice cream social by the pool, I went back up to the 9th floor. Then I noticed you happened to be playing worship music there. Thanks for doing that. I loved the worship session. Sadly we didn't do anymore after even though we said we would.

Amanda Chiang - You are awesome! It was nice getting to know you in all the Real Life and Epic stuff. It was also cool hanging out with all the freshmen stuff. Thanks for letting Epic stay at your house for Disneyland, and I enjoyed meeting your family. It was also cool getting lots of meals together. We are definitely gonna chill when school starts again, and I pray that you grow a lot on your Hawaii summer project.

Andrew Melton - Thanks for trying to invite people to hang out a lot. I enjoyed eating with you at Ortega a lot. You are very humble. I like how you try to get our class organized and that you participate a lot. Thanks for planning Bible study over the summer as well. I will definitely be seeing you.

Claire Anderson - You are awesome! I love having conversations about our spiritual lives, and I thank you for that. It was nice giving you rides too. I like how you always listen to Hillsong United's I <3 Revolution album in my car. You commit so much time to Real Life. I will definitely enjoy hanging out with you next year.

Cody Miller - I'm going to directly quote the wall post I have on your wall. "I like your heart for God and how deep into worship you get for him. Sometimes I wish I could go as deep as you when you worship Him! I also like how you show up to the Real Life freshmen stuff." Your heart to worship inspires me. Seriously. Definitely need to get to know you better.

David Salazar - You are amazing! You are one of the reasons I randomly show up to Destino before having to go to Gospel choir. I enjoy your positive energy. Definitely cool getting meals with you and hanging out at all the Real Life stuff. Also nice seeing you at the plex whenever we happen to be there at the same time. I love how you are so lovable. I pray that you grow with your experiences in Santa Monica summer project. You are so blessed. Thanks for being an awesome friend.

Ian Charbonnet- I like your sense of humor. I may not get it all the time, but I enjoy it. I love how you organize a whole bunch of stuff for the Real Life class of 2013 to get together. I remember I officially met you from organizing rides to broom ball during the beginning of winter quarter. It was great seeing you take a lot of initiative, and I enjoyed hanging out a lot with you. I definitely need to hang out with you over the summer since you are only in Danville.

Jordan Marshall - So you are apparently one of the two non-class of 2013 people on this list...you should feel special. It was so nice meeting you on the day of the Real Life Christmas party. It's hilarious how we decided to do a song together and only got a little time to practice a few hours before the party. You are such an awesome friend! Thanks for helping me with my walk with God.

Katie Klezek - I enjoy your positive energy. I'd describe you as happy-go-lucky. Thanks for bringing so much joy to everyone. It was great hanging out a lot. I will forever remember you for the baby cradle sign whenever we play signs during Real Life retreats until the middle of the night. I can't wait to see how God blesses you in the future.

Matt Butin - Thanks for being an awesome friend and asking how I'm doing all the time. I loved visiting you at the plex or at the information booth at the hub. You are a fun person to hang out with. Definitely need to hang out more before you graduate.

Meredith Cabaniss - Thanks for being such an awesome person! I love how you participate in everything, lending your car for BOTA, and how spontaneous you are with your plans. Definitely a lot of emphasis on 'spontaneous' like the last minute plan a couple nights ago to have you stay the night at my house on the way down to SB. I found that to be quite hilarious. Also, thanks for all the music you gave me. I like how randomly awkward our friendship is. There's so much I could talk about. I'll be praying for your summer project in the middle east.

Michelle Quezada - Thanks for being an inspiration. I love your heart for God and how deep you get into worship. You have an amazing voice. I'm glad we live close enough that I could see you sometimes over the summer, and I definitely think we need to hang out more.

Again sorry if I was going to mention you but didn't because I had to cut down.

Until next time,
Kenneth

Am I Lukewarm?

There are times where I think "Am I a lukewarm?" It's times like these I question my motives for what I believe in...why I do the things I do. Do I do it for love of Jesus, or do I do it out of fear I don't get into heaven.

Just yesterday I decided to buy the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Today I got to the chapters "Profile of the Lukewarm" and "Serving Leftovers to a Holy God". They got me thinking about those again. My mind tells me that I am the way I am because I love God, but sometimes I think "What if it's because I want to feel accepted, to have friends..."

This book talked about how when people read the parable about the different kinds of soils, many people assume they are the good soil when most are probable the thorny soil. Am I one of the thorny soil? I want to believe that I'm a good soil, but I know that it may not be true. I want to be good soil and soak in God's word, but I know I get distracted by so many things. One moment I could be thinking about reading the Bible, then the next I would be on facebook or something. I also get distracted by video games and shows or weekly updates of the Naruto manga. I also tend to think a lot about those mediums and what has been happening in them instead of seeking Him with all my attention. I know we as humans can't be perfect, but at the same time, I think we use that as an excuse often to justify ourselves. I also find that I try to get reassurance from friends often when the truth could be totally different from what I think.

One part of the book states:

Most of our thoughts are centered on the money we want to make, the school we want to attend, the body we aspire to have, the spouse we want to marry, the kind of person we want to become.... But the fact is that nothing should concern us more than our relationship with God...

I find myself thinking a lot about who I will marry in the future and the kind of person I want to become. Granted, I am concerned with my relationship with God (seeing as I'm writing about my thoughts on this in the first place), but I'm not sure if I'm too distracted with those other thoughts.

Recently, I've been reading a chapter of the New Testament a day since Joe, my roommate for the last 7 weeks of my first year at UCSB, decided to have a Bible study where we did that and invited others. As school was getting closer to the end, I remembered us reading the chapter where the rich man was unable to give up his wealth to follow Jesus. In that passage, he talks about how hard it is for the rich to get into heaven. He wants us to be willing to give up everything if we want to follow him. We would not be very effective if we have trouble giving up all we have, whether it's monetary value or housing or even family and friends.

A question I sometimes ask myself is whether I'm willing to leave my life behind to follow Jesus. Would I be willing to leave behind my family and friends? Granted I would not be too troubled if I left behind my mom (which is probably a bad thing), but then I would still have trouble with that since I fear her. I love her for providing, but I find myself more fearful of her anger sometimes. I'm also unsure about whether I would actually be willing to leave my friends. I probably would not have too much trouble leaving them physically, but I'm not sure if I am willing to stop all communication with them. As a result, I feel I might be lukewarm, and that's something I do not want to be.

I would definitely like to hear your thoughts on this subject. This is one that sometimes crosses my mind a lot. I MIGHT do that post about how different people affected me my first year at UCSB, but this subject was on my mind. As a result I felt the need to do this first.

Until next time,
Kenneth