I was going to write about community and identity. To be honest, I was going to do so because I keep hearing about how important community is in growing with Christ and how your identity is in Him. However, I would just be rehashing what other people say and not really writing out my own thoughts. As a result, it would have felt a little forced. What am I going to write about? Maybe I will try freewriting and see where it ends up. But then it won't be truly freewrite since I know I will end up editing whatever I write. I have a tendency to do that partly because there are things I don't really want to share online and sometimes random nonsensical thoughts may pop up. Maybe I will talk about weddings! That's because I just attended two this summer so far and will be attending one today.

It has been great seeing my friends get married. From the ones I went to this summer, they both have been centered on Christ. That is different from what I have been used to going to weddings of family members. In the past, I've only been to a few weddings and out of the ones I remember, it has just been focused on the couple. From the two I've been to this summer and the first ones outside my family, it's interesting how they show they want Jesus to be the center of it. I don't remember ever seeing a couple marrying taking communion on the day of the marriage before this summer. Both couples asked for the Biblical definition of love to be read. 1 Corinthians 13...love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud...I'm not quoting it exactly since I'm just writing what I remember off the top of my head. Marriage should have a relationship reflecting Jesus' relationship with the church. Jesus is the groom and the church is the bride.

Ephesians 5:21-33 does a good job explaining it. Jesus as the husband is the head of the church which is the bride. It means we all submit to Christ just as the wife submits to the husband. In the same way, husbands should love their wives just as Christ did for the church. By giving Himself up for us, Jesus made us holy and clean. We are made perfect in Christ. In the same way, husbands should be willing to make sacrifices for their wives. It's definitely not a one-way thing where the wife submits to the husband who does nothing. The husband has to love his wife and to care for her just as Christ loves and cares for the church. I am also sure there are times where wives don't necessarily submit to husbands (like if what the husband tells the wife to do goes against what Jesus says). I also think there are times where husbands should listen to their wives about stuff.

I think the relationship between Pastor Jason and his wife Holly is a good example of what marriage should be. They talk about everything, they are raising four children together, and they are basically in each others' lives. In Ephesians 5:31, it basically says man leaves his parents to be with his wife, and the two become one. Granted, Jason has stated that there are times where they fight, but we as humans are prone to mess up. It is understandable if we do mess up. The point is that they as one work together to build each other up and to raise a great family. They are good role models.

Nowadays people have very high expectations of marriage just being about "love" between two people that a lot of divorces are occurring because marriage is not meeting up to people's expectations. Instead of both parties trying to fix their marriages by making sacrifices, people would separate because they want things to go their way. Some real life examples I could think of stem from this type of thinking. They want fulfillment in all their expectations, and when it does not work out the way they want it, they leave. The western world has become one of selfishness, where people go to religion for "Moralistic Therapeutic Deism". People do things if it feels good and it goes with their agendas. A lot of people are not willing to make sacrifices nowadays.

I know that I myself have high expectations sometimes. My high expectations include not dating until I feel like God is making it obvious that the girl is the one I will marry in the future. I don't plan on having my first kiss until the day of my marriage. However, I should not have such expectations for my future wife. In no way do I mean that I should have low expectations of my future wife, but I mean that I should accept her the way she is and with whatever flaws she may have. Christ died for all of us even though we had so many flaws.

Just as Christ loves us unconditionally, I should learn to love in the same way. I need to be willing to make sacrifices and to have relationships centered on Christ. While marriage is uniting two people, it also enables them to keep accountable of each other and to help each other grow in Christ. Marriage should still be centered on Jesus. If it was centered on the self, it would just lead to separation. I am anticipating the day I get married and when I start my own family. For now, I still have some growing to do. I will also be celebrating the marriage of my friends.

Until next time,
Kenneth