The title is something I don't usually tell myself. In fact, I get distracted by so many things. I'm the type of person who loves to have fellowship. As a result, I don't usually have quiet time which is something I probably need.
In our culture, there is a lot of noise that goes on in the background even if we don't pay enough attention to care. People listen to music with ear buds or they are blasting it through speakers, phones ring, a lot of chit chat going on, and the noise technology makes in general. It's hard to find silence in our society.
Psalm 46:10 says "Be still and know that I am God". If you know me well enough, you know that I tend to rush. That would be the opposite of being still.
I remember being challenged to find some quiet time and try to listen for God. Have I actually gotten to that? No. As stated earlier, I tend get distracted. I probably distract myself more than anything. The last time I tried to have quiet time was when I went to IHOP East Bay a couple weeks ago (Note: House of Prayer, not House of Pancakes). They put up audio from the service going on in IHOP Kansas City at the time and I think I was one of two people in the room. I failed because I ended up falling asleep on one of the benches.
I find it harder to force myself into quiet time at home as well. I have plenty of time to do it, but I usually end up on facebook chat, youtube, playing games, listening to music, and running errands. All of those except the last one should not stop me from getting quiet time, but I distract myself with those anyways. While these outside influence can be distracting, I find my inner thoughts even more distracting sometimes. When I have plenty of time to meditate on God and seek Him, I end up thinking about life or entertainment. For example, lately I've been thinking a lot about an episode of Pokemon that's supposed to come out this week. While I know Ash is probably going to lose to the trainer with a legendary Pokemon in the semi-finals, I tend to speculate about the results of it. That leads me to read a whole bunch of discussions for it online. There are other shows I think about as well, but in the end I know they aren't helping with me trying to find quiet time.
Tonight during worship night, I learned that fellowship can also be distracting. It was right after the worship ended and I was talking to Ryan Frank and his friends. I told them about how I'm trying to cram a lot of meetings before summer ends. I like to meet up with people to see how they are doing with the Lord, and it's great to hear testimonies as well. After I mention that I was trying to meet lots of people, the group starts telling me that while fellowship can be a good thing, too much fellowship is bad. It means I rely too much on people and not enough on God. It would eventually lead me down to a not so great place. Hearing that, I thought about how I distract myself with people as well. I also notice how when I was in Santa Barbara I tended to surround myself with people that I didn't really get much quiet time. It was then that I decided to write on this topic.
I need to get myself to have quiet time to be still and listen for God. While I feel it will be much harder once I go back to Santa Barbara, I definitely need encouragement to find quiet time there too. It's always nice to have fellowship, but too much can be bad. I guess too much of anything can be bad.
Right now, I feel like the easiest way to get some quiet time would be to go somewhere without much technology and start praying. Camping on my own or with only a few people would fit in that description. A good place to go to in the middle of nowhere would be Twaine Hart. It would be nice to go back to the cabin and meditate in His word. It would also be a good place to find a spot and just start worshiping and praying on my own. It might be safer to bring a few people along as well, but it might be counterproductive to do this with lots of people. Obviously I don't know if I can pay to stay at the cabin in Twaine Hart on my own. I don't even know if I have time to do that. I guess anywhere that is in the middle of nowhere could work. It's not necessary, but I find it much easier when I can isolate myself. It worked up in Redding.
Well, I guess I am done with this post. I'm surprised that I'm even updating.
Until next time,
Kenneth
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
To expand on the word I gave to Sarah at Wildfire...
Okay, so tonight at Wildfire I gave Sarah Souza a word about there going to be changes once she goes to college and that it's kind of like pizza. I'm pretty sure when I was talking, I was doing it too quickly so I am sure she didn't understand what I was saying. Ergo, I am going to expand on it in this post. It can apply to anyone who is starting college.
So you know how you can add toppings to pizza right? Well some toppings can be good for you, and some can be bad for you. You get what you take in. Same thing happens in college. For example, say if I were to put a lot of frosting and cinnamon on the pizza to make cinnabread, it can be really tasty. However, it can also be unhealthy especially if you eat too much of it. There will be a lot of things that come your way where you should decide "yes" or "no". Whatever choice you make, it affects how you change.
Whatever choices you make, remember that God will always love you. I can see Him using you in the school you are going to, and I can see you making a big impact there. You will affect people you come in contact with. You should also get some friends who can help you keep accountable.
This is all for now. It's quite a short post, and although it's directed at someone, I'm sure other people can take from it. That is all for now.
Until next time,
Kenneth
So you know how you can add toppings to pizza right? Well some toppings can be good for you, and some can be bad for you. You get what you take in. Same thing happens in college. For example, say if I were to put a lot of frosting and cinnamon on the pizza to make cinnabread, it can be really tasty. However, it can also be unhealthy especially if you eat too much of it. There will be a lot of things that come your way where you should decide "yes" or "no". Whatever choice you make, it affects how you change.
Whatever choices you make, remember that God will always love you. I can see Him using you in the school you are going to, and I can see you making a big impact there. You will affect people you come in contact with. You should also get some friends who can help you keep accountable.
This is all for now. It's quite a short post, and although it's directed at someone, I'm sure other people can take from it. That is all for now.
Until next time,
Kenneth
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Understanding Other's Pain...
This post is rather spontaneous...I decided to write one after reading a tribute to a guy I have never met. I guess this can also be seen as a continuation to last night's post, which kind of touches upon this although I was trying to emphasize on making an impact. It's kind of a subject I think God has also been putting on my heart recently. He knows everything we go through: all our struggles, all our pain, all the emotions we go through. It's something we as humans would never understand.
If you watch Naruto and do not want to be spoiled about the next episode due to not having seen it or read it, I say avoid this paragraph. I just watched the latest episode of Naruto from Japan where Naruto decides to listen to Nagato's story about how he eventually became Pain. This happens after Naruto defeats the Six Paths of Pain and finds out he was taught by the same person. Pain asked Naruto how he plans on bringing peace to the ninja world when their master could not come up with an answer, so Naruto decides to listen to his story before deciding what he would do. Basically Nagato became Pain from two experiences, the death of his parents by the hands of Konoha ninja and the death of his best friend Yahiko. The latter incident made me feel sad because Nagato was put in a situation where he either kills Yahiko or his other friend Konan dies. As Nagato held up a kunai given to him, Yahiko runs over and kills himself then tells Nagato to save himself and Konan. I'd obviously won't know what it's like to be in that situation since I'm not in the middle of a war. It does make me curious about how I'd react if I were put in a situation like that.
Now that I'm done tying an anime to the subject, I'm going to talk about situations that actually happen in life. My struggles I talked about in my last post: they are probably nothing compared to the suffering many others go through. I might not have even hit rock bottom...but I might not notice since I can be so naive.
To reference someone from my last post, there's that one girl who is bullied by her younger sister and grandmother. She is the one who has to take care of her grandmother since her mom has to work a lot, her dad is in Mexico, and her 15 year old sister is pregnant. She also has to work, go to school when it starts, and her best friend died less than a year ago. Through that she still believes in God and finds reasons to smile.
Then there is my friend Anthony. I've never actually met him in real life, but we became friends online when I was in 5th grade. We both "met" when we wrote fan fiction for Smash Bros. on a forum. Right now, I can honestly say I'm probably not a good writer...at all. Meanwhile, he is talented in that area, and he is very imaginative. However, for the last few years he has had struggles in school and with family life. I already knew he was not enjoying life at school even in his senior year, but I never knew he had a problem at home as well. It was last week I found out he had an older brother. How did I find out? Well...his facebook status announced his brother just died from a drug overdose.
The reason I decided to write a blog post for the second night in a row was because I just read Anthony's tribute to his brother. Just from reading the long blog post, I learned a lot about both him and his brother, both people I have never actually met. From what I've read, Anthony wasn't as close to his brother as he wanted to be because of his brother's drug problem. Although his brother decided to take him on a trip to New York, he drugged himself behind Anthony's back. He also sold 15 of Anthony's games without letting Anthony know. Anthony was angered by it, but he still cared about his brother. The last time he saw his brother, his brother decided to play Goldeneye for the N64 like they used to. The last thing his brother ever said to him was a text saying he was glad he could help Anthony with figuring out the bus schedule.
When I read his post, I felt sad for him. At the same time, I know I don't really understand how he really feels since I've never been through something like that. It definitely makes me appreciate my family, and I feel blessed that I am not going through suffering like that right now. However, I am curious about what life would be like if I were in a similar situation. Would I be the same person as I am now? I know God has different plans for everyone, and I feel like he gave me a heart that wants to sympathize with people going through harder times than I am. However, I know I can't fully understand what others are going through. The best thing I know I can do is give words of condolences and pray for them.
Until next time...maybe I can actually write a post about stuff I learn instead of mostly giving examples...
Kenneth
If you watch Naruto and do not want to be spoiled about the next episode due to not having seen it or read it, I say avoid this paragraph. I just watched the latest episode of Naruto from Japan where Naruto decides to listen to Nagato's story about how he eventually became Pain. This happens after Naruto defeats the Six Paths of Pain and finds out he was taught by the same person. Pain asked Naruto how he plans on bringing peace to the ninja world when their master could not come up with an answer, so Naruto decides to listen to his story before deciding what he would do. Basically Nagato became Pain from two experiences, the death of his parents by the hands of Konoha ninja and the death of his best friend Yahiko. The latter incident made me feel sad because Nagato was put in a situation where he either kills Yahiko or his other friend Konan dies. As Nagato held up a kunai given to him, Yahiko runs over and kills himself then tells Nagato to save himself and Konan. I'd obviously won't know what it's like to be in that situation since I'm not in the middle of a war. It does make me curious about how I'd react if I were put in a situation like that.
Now that I'm done tying an anime to the subject, I'm going to talk about situations that actually happen in life. My struggles I talked about in my last post: they are probably nothing compared to the suffering many others go through. I might not have even hit rock bottom...but I might not notice since I can be so naive.
To reference someone from my last post, there's that one girl who is bullied by her younger sister and grandmother. She is the one who has to take care of her grandmother since her mom has to work a lot, her dad is in Mexico, and her 15 year old sister is pregnant. She also has to work, go to school when it starts, and her best friend died less than a year ago. Through that she still believes in God and finds reasons to smile.
Then there is my friend Anthony. I've never actually met him in real life, but we became friends online when I was in 5th grade. We both "met" when we wrote fan fiction for Smash Bros. on a forum. Right now, I can honestly say I'm probably not a good writer...at all. Meanwhile, he is talented in that area, and he is very imaginative. However, for the last few years he has had struggles in school and with family life. I already knew he was not enjoying life at school even in his senior year, but I never knew he had a problem at home as well. It was last week I found out he had an older brother. How did I find out? Well...his facebook status announced his brother just died from a drug overdose.
The reason I decided to write a blog post for the second night in a row was because I just read Anthony's tribute to his brother. Just from reading the long blog post, I learned a lot about both him and his brother, both people I have never actually met. From what I've read, Anthony wasn't as close to his brother as he wanted to be because of his brother's drug problem. Although his brother decided to take him on a trip to New York, he drugged himself behind Anthony's back. He also sold 15 of Anthony's games without letting Anthony know. Anthony was angered by it, but he still cared about his brother. The last time he saw his brother, his brother decided to play Goldeneye for the N64 like they used to. The last thing his brother ever said to him was a text saying he was glad he could help Anthony with figuring out the bus schedule.
"Even after all of the horrible things Michael had done to me and my family, even after all of the suffering and guilt and pain he went through, he still loved me. He was looking out for me. Like a big brother should."One thing Anthony regrets is that they would never have a chance to improve their relationship.
When I read his post, I felt sad for him. At the same time, I know I don't really understand how he really feels since I've never been through something like that. It definitely makes me appreciate my family, and I feel blessed that I am not going through suffering like that right now. However, I am curious about what life would be like if I were in a similar situation. Would I be the same person as I am now? I know God has different plans for everyone, and I feel like he gave me a heart that wants to sympathize with people going through harder times than I am. However, I know I can't fully understand what others are going through. The best thing I know I can do is give words of condolences and pray for them.
Until next time...maybe I can actually write a post about stuff I learn instead of mostly giving examples...
Kenneth
Friday, August 13, 2010
Making an Impact...Part II?
This topic has been on my mind a lot quite recently. It came up when I was listening to Casey and DJ back in Redding, Pastor Aaron spoke to T4 about how we ignore people not in our cliques in high school, and I've had this desire to watch "To Save a Life" recently. What helped me decide to actually write a post about this topic was the fact I realized I haven't posted much this summer and because Ian Charbonnet has a recent blog post about this subject.
It's funny...lots of people have made an impact on me, yet I never thought about talking too much about the subject. I realized while I was still at UCSB, I made a short blog post about it. That isn't much and it was mostly asking myself whether I have made an impact. Whether I do or don't, I do not know. If I do, I should definitely be giving God credit for moving me to do so in the first place.
Anyways, Pastor Aaron basically spoke about how in high school, we usually talk to people in our own little group of friends yet ignore the ones who don't really have any. While he was talking about that, it made me think back to high school. It reminded me about how I didn't really have a specific group of friends. I liked to talk to everyone, but I don't think I really hung out with anyone too much outside of school or youth group. As a result, sometimes I felt I didn't have any real friends when I probably did. The only people I really talked to were people from youth group, and I still didn't reveal too much about myself. At the same time, going to youth group really opened the shell I put myself in when I was in junior high. With that said, I ask myself whether I had been ignoring people who might not have many friends. It's definitely something I should work on even more.
As I have said earlier, recently I have had the desire to watch a movie called "To Save a Life". It's basically a Christian movie about a popular guy who witnesses his friend commit suicide with a gun at school. Then he decides to change himself and make an impact on other people to prevent it from happening again in the future. I can't say I'm entirely accurate on that since I still haven't watched it, but the subject is something that really touches my heart. Even in the past I have tried to tell complete strangers online not to commit suicide when they cry out for help on yahoo answers or mystery google (not mystery missions).
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that in 6th grade I wanted to be part of the popular crowd only to be put down by them and be in denial about that. Maybe it's from possibly considering suicide at that age where I wasn't thinking too clearly. Yes, you must be thinking "6th graders should be playing and having fun instead of worrying about that stuff and thinking about suicide". The truth is I was naive (still am in a certain way), and I thought I wanted to commit suicide because of the hurt I went through from the way people treated me. Honestly, I think lots of people will think I'm a loser for being that way. My thoughts can be completely wrong, but it doesn't matter that much anymore. I've realized God is more important than the people I hang out with, and if they don't accept me for who I am, they aren't my friends.
Even with that conclusion, I still feel like I want to reach out to those who ever thought about suicide. It's sad to hear about it happening. A way to prevent suicide is to reach out to people (even those who aren't even considering suicide). However, as much as I would like to try reaching out to everyone I see, I know it's not possible and there will be times where I'm reluctant to try for whatever reason I have in my head.
There are a couple recent examples where I tried making an impact to complete strangers. I'm not trying to glorify myself in any way, but I want to provide examples to share some things people go through. Last night, I decided to go on mystery missions because I wanted to look for something completely random to do out of boredom. Unfortunately, most missions are from pervy people asking others to send picture texts or other random texts out of boredom. However, I decided to accept missions where people asked to be cheered up.
One person (who later introduced herself as "Natasha") asked to make her smile. I wrote something along the lines of "General squirrel is attempting to take over the world by making people sad, so the brave little platypus is trying to stop him from taking over the world". Natasha then asked how the platypus plans on saving her. I replied that I would listen to whatever she has to say about what was making her sad if she wanted to talk about it. She then talked about how she moved out of her boyfriend of two year's house, then his mom told her that he invited another girl the next night. Basically she's feeling lonely and brokenhearted, and now she's living alone in her dad's apartment while he was out of town. She doesn't have anyone else she could turn to. The best thing I could do was show I was listening by responding. After she said how she was trying to learn to love again, I responded that I believed she will. I also tried to encourage her by saying that she is "loved by someone out there" and that although it might be hard to imagine it, it is true. She then thanked me and told me that I made her feel better.
The second person asked for a funny picture to make her smile, so I texted a picture of "soundboard bear" from the house of prayer in Dublin. On a sticky note in the picture, it said "Beware of soundboard bear...grrrrr". She thanked me for it since it made her feel better, then we've had a conversation for the last 2 days about what she had been going through. Her best friend died in December from cancer, her 15 year old sister is pregnant and says hurtful things to her, her mom is always working, and she has to take some junior classes in her senior year of high school because she was unable to complete some courses due to having to take care of her grandmother all by herself and all the other emotional things she had been going through. What I find encouraging is that she continues to take care of her grandmother even though her grandmother says bad things about her. With all the hardships she goes through, she can still smile while working at Jack-in-the-Box. She also talked about how she used to go to youth group and church until she no longer had a strong faith in church. She said she went to a bunch of churches, but they all turned her off. However, she still believes in Jesus.
I'm hoping I made an impact in these two strangers. I'll continue to pray for them.
It's also interesting to see how Daisy Love is making an impact in many people. As a six year old with cancer, she continues to display an incredible love for God. It's encouraging me, and I start to pray when I think about her situation.
I would definitely like to continue on the topic of making an impact, but it's late and I should get some sleep. I'll end this with a quote from Ian's blog post.
"You leave imprints on those around you, please strive to leave those marks in love." -Ian Charbonnet
Until next time!
Kenneth
It's funny...lots of people have made an impact on me, yet I never thought about talking too much about the subject. I realized while I was still at UCSB, I made a short blog post about it. That isn't much and it was mostly asking myself whether I have made an impact. Whether I do or don't, I do not know. If I do, I should definitely be giving God credit for moving me to do so in the first place.
Anyways, Pastor Aaron basically spoke about how in high school, we usually talk to people in our own little group of friends yet ignore the ones who don't really have any. While he was talking about that, it made me think back to high school. It reminded me about how I didn't really have a specific group of friends. I liked to talk to everyone, but I don't think I really hung out with anyone too much outside of school or youth group. As a result, sometimes I felt I didn't have any real friends when I probably did. The only people I really talked to were people from youth group, and I still didn't reveal too much about myself. At the same time, going to youth group really opened the shell I put myself in when I was in junior high. With that said, I ask myself whether I had been ignoring people who might not have many friends. It's definitely something I should work on even more.
As I have said earlier, recently I have had the desire to watch a movie called "To Save a Life". It's basically a Christian movie about a popular guy who witnesses his friend commit suicide with a gun at school. Then he decides to change himself and make an impact on other people to prevent it from happening again in the future. I can't say I'm entirely accurate on that since I still haven't watched it, but the subject is something that really touches my heart. Even in the past I have tried to tell complete strangers online not to commit suicide when they cry out for help on yahoo answers or mystery google (not mystery missions).
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that in 6th grade I wanted to be part of the popular crowd only to be put down by them and be in denial about that. Maybe it's from possibly considering suicide at that age where I wasn't thinking too clearly. Yes, you must be thinking "6th graders should be playing and having fun instead of worrying about that stuff and thinking about suicide". The truth is I was naive (still am in a certain way), and I thought I wanted to commit suicide because of the hurt I went through from the way people treated me. Honestly, I think lots of people will think I'm a loser for being that way. My thoughts can be completely wrong, but it doesn't matter that much anymore. I've realized God is more important than the people I hang out with, and if they don't accept me for who I am, they aren't my friends.
Even with that conclusion, I still feel like I want to reach out to those who ever thought about suicide. It's sad to hear about it happening. A way to prevent suicide is to reach out to people (even those who aren't even considering suicide). However, as much as I would like to try reaching out to everyone I see, I know it's not possible and there will be times where I'm reluctant to try for whatever reason I have in my head.
There are a couple recent examples where I tried making an impact to complete strangers. I'm not trying to glorify myself in any way, but I want to provide examples to share some things people go through. Last night, I decided to go on mystery missions because I wanted to look for something completely random to do out of boredom. Unfortunately, most missions are from pervy people asking others to send picture texts or other random texts out of boredom. However, I decided to accept missions where people asked to be cheered up.
One person (who later introduced herself as "Natasha") asked to make her smile. I wrote something along the lines of "General squirrel is attempting to take over the world by making people sad, so the brave little platypus is trying to stop him from taking over the world". Natasha then asked how the platypus plans on saving her. I replied that I would listen to whatever she has to say about what was making her sad if she wanted to talk about it. She then talked about how she moved out of her boyfriend of two year's house, then his mom told her that he invited another girl the next night. Basically she's feeling lonely and brokenhearted, and now she's living alone in her dad's apartment while he was out of town. She doesn't have anyone else she could turn to. The best thing I could do was show I was listening by responding. After she said how she was trying to learn to love again, I responded that I believed she will. I also tried to encourage her by saying that she is "loved by someone out there" and that although it might be hard to imagine it, it is true. She then thanked me and told me that I made her feel better.
The second person asked for a funny picture to make her smile, so I texted a picture of "soundboard bear" from the house of prayer in Dublin. On a sticky note in the picture, it said "Beware of soundboard bear...grrrrr". She thanked me for it since it made her feel better, then we've had a conversation for the last 2 days about what she had been going through. Her best friend died in December from cancer, her 15 year old sister is pregnant and says hurtful things to her, her mom is always working, and she has to take some junior classes in her senior year of high school because she was unable to complete some courses due to having to take care of her grandmother all by herself and all the other emotional things she had been going through. What I find encouraging is that she continues to take care of her grandmother even though her grandmother says bad things about her. With all the hardships she goes through, she can still smile while working at Jack-in-the-Box. She also talked about how she used to go to youth group and church until she no longer had a strong faith in church. She said she went to a bunch of churches, but they all turned her off. However, she still believes in Jesus.
I'm hoping I made an impact in these two strangers. I'll continue to pray for them.
It's also interesting to see how Daisy Love is making an impact in many people. As a six year old with cancer, she continues to display an incredible love for God. It's encouraging me, and I start to pray when I think about her situation.
I would definitely like to continue on the topic of making an impact, but it's late and I should get some sleep. I'll end this with a quote from Ian's blog post.
"You leave imprints on those around you, please strive to leave those marks in love." -Ian Charbonnet
Until next time!
Kenneth
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Some songs on my mind right now...
Yeah, this post is not really about what I have been learning or a topic I have been thinking. It's just going to be a short update about a couple worship songs in my mind right now.
"Happy Day" is a somewhat old song. I'm not talking about the Gospel song from Sister Act. I guess the one in my mind right now is from Tim Hughes. I remember how it used to be played a LOT in high school chapel my senior year of high school. I like it when it begins with
Another song that I've been hearing a lot of and isn't really getting old for me is "How He Loves". Originally written by John Mark Mcmillan, many people have covered it. The versions that usually play in my head are David Crowder Band or Kim Walker from Jesus Culture. The first few lines are one of my favorite parts of the song.
This seems like a filler post, but I just randomly felt like writing about this at 3AM. I should probably get some sleep. If I feel like it, I might edit this post later with more songs.
Until next time!
"Happy Day" is a somewhat old song. I'm not talking about the Gospel song from Sister Act. I guess the one in my mind right now is from Tim Hughes. I remember how it used to be played a LOT in high school chapel my senior year of high school. I like it when it begins with
"the greatest day in history,I'm sure anyone reading this might find this song kind of cheesy, but I like the basic feeling of where you should be happy because of what Jesus did on the cross for us.
death is beaten,
you have rescued me..."
Another song that I've been hearing a lot of and isn't really getting old for me is "How He Loves". Originally written by John Mark Mcmillan, many people have covered it. The versions that usually play in my head are David Crowder Band or Kim Walker from Jesus Culture. The first few lines are one of my favorite parts of the song.
"He is jealous for me,It reminds me of how fragile we are compared to God. This is a song about, as the title of it says, how he loves us. "If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking" is another line I find powerful. Finally, there's the line "So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss". Some versions say "unforeseen kiss" instead. I don't see a reason for the change, but I like "sloppy wet kiss better". It feels more like he's a close father. Either way, it doesn't really matter how that line is done. It is still a powerful line in my opinion.
loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy..."
This seems like a filler post, but I just randomly felt like writing about this at 3AM. I should probably get some sleep. If I feel like it, I might edit this post later with more songs.
Until next time!
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