Okay, so tonight at Wildfire I gave Sarah Souza a word about there going to be changes once she goes to college and that it's kind of like pizza. I'm pretty sure when I was talking, I was doing it too quickly so I am sure she didn't understand what I was saying. Ergo, I am going to expand on it in this post. It can apply to anyone who is starting college.
So you know how you can add toppings to pizza right? Well some toppings can be good for you, and some can be bad for you. You get what you take in. Same thing happens in college. For example, say if I were to put a lot of frosting and cinnamon on the pizza to make cinnabread, it can be really tasty. However, it can also be unhealthy especially if you eat too much of it. There will be a lot of things that come your way where you should decide "yes" or "no". Whatever choice you make, it affects how you change.
Whatever choices you make, remember that God will always love you. I can see Him using you in the school you are going to, and I can see you making a big impact there. You will affect people you come in contact with. You should also get some friends who can help you keep accountable.
This is all for now. It's quite a short post, and although it's directed at someone, I'm sure other people can take from it. That is all for now.
Until next time,
Kenneth
Monday, August 16, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Understanding Other's Pain...
This post is rather spontaneous...I decided to write one after reading a tribute to a guy I have never met. I guess this can also be seen as a continuation to last night's post, which kind of touches upon this although I was trying to emphasize on making an impact. It's kind of a subject I think God has also been putting on my heart recently. He knows everything we go through: all our struggles, all our pain, all the emotions we go through. It's something we as humans would never understand.
If you watch Naruto and do not want to be spoiled about the next episode due to not having seen it or read it, I say avoid this paragraph. I just watched the latest episode of Naruto from Japan where Naruto decides to listen to Nagato's story about how he eventually became Pain. This happens after Naruto defeats the Six Paths of Pain and finds out he was taught by the same person. Pain asked Naruto how he plans on bringing peace to the ninja world when their master could not come up with an answer, so Naruto decides to listen to his story before deciding what he would do. Basically Nagato became Pain from two experiences, the death of his parents by the hands of Konoha ninja and the death of his best friend Yahiko. The latter incident made me feel sad because Nagato was put in a situation where he either kills Yahiko or his other friend Konan dies. As Nagato held up a kunai given to him, Yahiko runs over and kills himself then tells Nagato to save himself and Konan. I'd obviously won't know what it's like to be in that situation since I'm not in the middle of a war. It does make me curious about how I'd react if I were put in a situation like that.
Now that I'm done tying an anime to the subject, I'm going to talk about situations that actually happen in life. My struggles I talked about in my last post: they are probably nothing compared to the suffering many others go through. I might not have even hit rock bottom...but I might not notice since I can be so naive.
To reference someone from my last post, there's that one girl who is bullied by her younger sister and grandmother. She is the one who has to take care of her grandmother since her mom has to work a lot, her dad is in Mexico, and her 15 year old sister is pregnant. She also has to work, go to school when it starts, and her best friend died less than a year ago. Through that she still believes in God and finds reasons to smile.
Then there is my friend Anthony. I've never actually met him in real life, but we became friends online when I was in 5th grade. We both "met" when we wrote fan fiction for Smash Bros. on a forum. Right now, I can honestly say I'm probably not a good writer...at all. Meanwhile, he is talented in that area, and he is very imaginative. However, for the last few years he has had struggles in school and with family life. I already knew he was not enjoying life at school even in his senior year, but I never knew he had a problem at home as well. It was last week I found out he had an older brother. How did I find out? Well...his facebook status announced his brother just died from a drug overdose.
The reason I decided to write a blog post for the second night in a row was because I just read Anthony's tribute to his brother. Just from reading the long blog post, I learned a lot about both him and his brother, both people I have never actually met. From what I've read, Anthony wasn't as close to his brother as he wanted to be because of his brother's drug problem. Although his brother decided to take him on a trip to New York, he drugged himself behind Anthony's back. He also sold 15 of Anthony's games without letting Anthony know. Anthony was angered by it, but he still cared about his brother. The last time he saw his brother, his brother decided to play Goldeneye for the N64 like they used to. The last thing his brother ever said to him was a text saying he was glad he could help Anthony with figuring out the bus schedule.
When I read his post, I felt sad for him. At the same time, I know I don't really understand how he really feels since I've never been through something like that. It definitely makes me appreciate my family, and I feel blessed that I am not going through suffering like that right now. However, I am curious about what life would be like if I were in a similar situation. Would I be the same person as I am now? I know God has different plans for everyone, and I feel like he gave me a heart that wants to sympathize with people going through harder times than I am. However, I know I can't fully understand what others are going through. The best thing I know I can do is give words of condolences and pray for them.
Until next time...maybe I can actually write a post about stuff I learn instead of mostly giving examples...
Kenneth
If you watch Naruto and do not want to be spoiled about the next episode due to not having seen it or read it, I say avoid this paragraph. I just watched the latest episode of Naruto from Japan where Naruto decides to listen to Nagato's story about how he eventually became Pain. This happens after Naruto defeats the Six Paths of Pain and finds out he was taught by the same person. Pain asked Naruto how he plans on bringing peace to the ninja world when their master could not come up with an answer, so Naruto decides to listen to his story before deciding what he would do. Basically Nagato became Pain from two experiences, the death of his parents by the hands of Konoha ninja and the death of his best friend Yahiko. The latter incident made me feel sad because Nagato was put in a situation where he either kills Yahiko or his other friend Konan dies. As Nagato held up a kunai given to him, Yahiko runs over and kills himself then tells Nagato to save himself and Konan. I'd obviously won't know what it's like to be in that situation since I'm not in the middle of a war. It does make me curious about how I'd react if I were put in a situation like that.
Now that I'm done tying an anime to the subject, I'm going to talk about situations that actually happen in life. My struggles I talked about in my last post: they are probably nothing compared to the suffering many others go through. I might not have even hit rock bottom...but I might not notice since I can be so naive.
To reference someone from my last post, there's that one girl who is bullied by her younger sister and grandmother. She is the one who has to take care of her grandmother since her mom has to work a lot, her dad is in Mexico, and her 15 year old sister is pregnant. She also has to work, go to school when it starts, and her best friend died less than a year ago. Through that she still believes in God and finds reasons to smile.
Then there is my friend Anthony. I've never actually met him in real life, but we became friends online when I was in 5th grade. We both "met" when we wrote fan fiction for Smash Bros. on a forum. Right now, I can honestly say I'm probably not a good writer...at all. Meanwhile, he is talented in that area, and he is very imaginative. However, for the last few years he has had struggles in school and with family life. I already knew he was not enjoying life at school even in his senior year, but I never knew he had a problem at home as well. It was last week I found out he had an older brother. How did I find out? Well...his facebook status announced his brother just died from a drug overdose.
The reason I decided to write a blog post for the second night in a row was because I just read Anthony's tribute to his brother. Just from reading the long blog post, I learned a lot about both him and his brother, both people I have never actually met. From what I've read, Anthony wasn't as close to his brother as he wanted to be because of his brother's drug problem. Although his brother decided to take him on a trip to New York, he drugged himself behind Anthony's back. He also sold 15 of Anthony's games without letting Anthony know. Anthony was angered by it, but he still cared about his brother. The last time he saw his brother, his brother decided to play Goldeneye for the N64 like they used to. The last thing his brother ever said to him was a text saying he was glad he could help Anthony with figuring out the bus schedule.
"Even after all of the horrible things Michael had done to me and my family, even after all of the suffering and guilt and pain he went through, he still loved me. He was looking out for me. Like a big brother should."One thing Anthony regrets is that they would never have a chance to improve their relationship.
When I read his post, I felt sad for him. At the same time, I know I don't really understand how he really feels since I've never been through something like that. It definitely makes me appreciate my family, and I feel blessed that I am not going through suffering like that right now. However, I am curious about what life would be like if I were in a similar situation. Would I be the same person as I am now? I know God has different plans for everyone, and I feel like he gave me a heart that wants to sympathize with people going through harder times than I am. However, I know I can't fully understand what others are going through. The best thing I know I can do is give words of condolences and pray for them.
Until next time...maybe I can actually write a post about stuff I learn instead of mostly giving examples...
Kenneth
Friday, August 13, 2010
Making an Impact...Part II?
This topic has been on my mind a lot quite recently. It came up when I was listening to Casey and DJ back in Redding, Pastor Aaron spoke to T4 about how we ignore people not in our cliques in high school, and I've had this desire to watch "To Save a Life" recently. What helped me decide to actually write a post about this topic was the fact I realized I haven't posted much this summer and because Ian Charbonnet has a recent blog post about this subject.
It's funny...lots of people have made an impact on me, yet I never thought about talking too much about the subject. I realized while I was still at UCSB, I made a short blog post about it. That isn't much and it was mostly asking myself whether I have made an impact. Whether I do or don't, I do not know. If I do, I should definitely be giving God credit for moving me to do so in the first place.
Anyways, Pastor Aaron basically spoke about how in high school, we usually talk to people in our own little group of friends yet ignore the ones who don't really have any. While he was talking about that, it made me think back to high school. It reminded me about how I didn't really have a specific group of friends. I liked to talk to everyone, but I don't think I really hung out with anyone too much outside of school or youth group. As a result, sometimes I felt I didn't have any real friends when I probably did. The only people I really talked to were people from youth group, and I still didn't reveal too much about myself. At the same time, going to youth group really opened the shell I put myself in when I was in junior high. With that said, I ask myself whether I had been ignoring people who might not have many friends. It's definitely something I should work on even more.
As I have said earlier, recently I have had the desire to watch a movie called "To Save a Life". It's basically a Christian movie about a popular guy who witnesses his friend commit suicide with a gun at school. Then he decides to change himself and make an impact on other people to prevent it from happening again in the future. I can't say I'm entirely accurate on that since I still haven't watched it, but the subject is something that really touches my heart. Even in the past I have tried to tell complete strangers online not to commit suicide when they cry out for help on yahoo answers or mystery google (not mystery missions).
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that in 6th grade I wanted to be part of the popular crowd only to be put down by them and be in denial about that. Maybe it's from possibly considering suicide at that age where I wasn't thinking too clearly. Yes, you must be thinking "6th graders should be playing and having fun instead of worrying about that stuff and thinking about suicide". The truth is I was naive (still am in a certain way), and I thought I wanted to commit suicide because of the hurt I went through from the way people treated me. Honestly, I think lots of people will think I'm a loser for being that way. My thoughts can be completely wrong, but it doesn't matter that much anymore. I've realized God is more important than the people I hang out with, and if they don't accept me for who I am, they aren't my friends.
Even with that conclusion, I still feel like I want to reach out to those who ever thought about suicide. It's sad to hear about it happening. A way to prevent suicide is to reach out to people (even those who aren't even considering suicide). However, as much as I would like to try reaching out to everyone I see, I know it's not possible and there will be times where I'm reluctant to try for whatever reason I have in my head.
There are a couple recent examples where I tried making an impact to complete strangers. I'm not trying to glorify myself in any way, but I want to provide examples to share some things people go through. Last night, I decided to go on mystery missions because I wanted to look for something completely random to do out of boredom. Unfortunately, most missions are from pervy people asking others to send picture texts or other random texts out of boredom. However, I decided to accept missions where people asked to be cheered up.
One person (who later introduced herself as "Natasha") asked to make her smile. I wrote something along the lines of "General squirrel is attempting to take over the world by making people sad, so the brave little platypus is trying to stop him from taking over the world". Natasha then asked how the platypus plans on saving her. I replied that I would listen to whatever she has to say about what was making her sad if she wanted to talk about it. She then talked about how she moved out of her boyfriend of two year's house, then his mom told her that he invited another girl the next night. Basically she's feeling lonely and brokenhearted, and now she's living alone in her dad's apartment while he was out of town. She doesn't have anyone else she could turn to. The best thing I could do was show I was listening by responding. After she said how she was trying to learn to love again, I responded that I believed she will. I also tried to encourage her by saying that she is "loved by someone out there" and that although it might be hard to imagine it, it is true. She then thanked me and told me that I made her feel better.
The second person asked for a funny picture to make her smile, so I texted a picture of "soundboard bear" from the house of prayer in Dublin. On a sticky note in the picture, it said "Beware of soundboard bear...grrrrr". She thanked me for it since it made her feel better, then we've had a conversation for the last 2 days about what she had been going through. Her best friend died in December from cancer, her 15 year old sister is pregnant and says hurtful things to her, her mom is always working, and she has to take some junior classes in her senior year of high school because she was unable to complete some courses due to having to take care of her grandmother all by herself and all the other emotional things she had been going through. What I find encouraging is that she continues to take care of her grandmother even though her grandmother says bad things about her. With all the hardships she goes through, she can still smile while working at Jack-in-the-Box. She also talked about how she used to go to youth group and church until she no longer had a strong faith in church. She said she went to a bunch of churches, but they all turned her off. However, she still believes in Jesus.
I'm hoping I made an impact in these two strangers. I'll continue to pray for them.
It's also interesting to see how Daisy Love is making an impact in many people. As a six year old with cancer, she continues to display an incredible love for God. It's encouraging me, and I start to pray when I think about her situation.
I would definitely like to continue on the topic of making an impact, but it's late and I should get some sleep. I'll end this with a quote from Ian's blog post.
"You leave imprints on those around you, please strive to leave those marks in love." -Ian Charbonnet
Until next time!
Kenneth
It's funny...lots of people have made an impact on me, yet I never thought about talking too much about the subject. I realized while I was still at UCSB, I made a short blog post about it. That isn't much and it was mostly asking myself whether I have made an impact. Whether I do or don't, I do not know. If I do, I should definitely be giving God credit for moving me to do so in the first place.
Anyways, Pastor Aaron basically spoke about how in high school, we usually talk to people in our own little group of friends yet ignore the ones who don't really have any. While he was talking about that, it made me think back to high school. It reminded me about how I didn't really have a specific group of friends. I liked to talk to everyone, but I don't think I really hung out with anyone too much outside of school or youth group. As a result, sometimes I felt I didn't have any real friends when I probably did. The only people I really talked to were people from youth group, and I still didn't reveal too much about myself. At the same time, going to youth group really opened the shell I put myself in when I was in junior high. With that said, I ask myself whether I had been ignoring people who might not have many friends. It's definitely something I should work on even more.
As I have said earlier, recently I have had the desire to watch a movie called "To Save a Life". It's basically a Christian movie about a popular guy who witnesses his friend commit suicide with a gun at school. Then he decides to change himself and make an impact on other people to prevent it from happening again in the future. I can't say I'm entirely accurate on that since I still haven't watched it, but the subject is something that really touches my heart. Even in the past I have tried to tell complete strangers online not to commit suicide when they cry out for help on yahoo answers or mystery google (not mystery missions).
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that in 6th grade I wanted to be part of the popular crowd only to be put down by them and be in denial about that. Maybe it's from possibly considering suicide at that age where I wasn't thinking too clearly. Yes, you must be thinking "6th graders should be playing and having fun instead of worrying about that stuff and thinking about suicide". The truth is I was naive (still am in a certain way), and I thought I wanted to commit suicide because of the hurt I went through from the way people treated me. Honestly, I think lots of people will think I'm a loser for being that way. My thoughts can be completely wrong, but it doesn't matter that much anymore. I've realized God is more important than the people I hang out with, and if they don't accept me for who I am, they aren't my friends.
Even with that conclusion, I still feel like I want to reach out to those who ever thought about suicide. It's sad to hear about it happening. A way to prevent suicide is to reach out to people (even those who aren't even considering suicide). However, as much as I would like to try reaching out to everyone I see, I know it's not possible and there will be times where I'm reluctant to try for whatever reason I have in my head.
There are a couple recent examples where I tried making an impact to complete strangers. I'm not trying to glorify myself in any way, but I want to provide examples to share some things people go through. Last night, I decided to go on mystery missions because I wanted to look for something completely random to do out of boredom. Unfortunately, most missions are from pervy people asking others to send picture texts or other random texts out of boredom. However, I decided to accept missions where people asked to be cheered up.
One person (who later introduced herself as "Natasha") asked to make her smile. I wrote something along the lines of "General squirrel is attempting to take over the world by making people sad, so the brave little platypus is trying to stop him from taking over the world". Natasha then asked how the platypus plans on saving her. I replied that I would listen to whatever she has to say about what was making her sad if she wanted to talk about it. She then talked about how she moved out of her boyfriend of two year's house, then his mom told her that he invited another girl the next night. Basically she's feeling lonely and brokenhearted, and now she's living alone in her dad's apartment while he was out of town. She doesn't have anyone else she could turn to. The best thing I could do was show I was listening by responding. After she said how she was trying to learn to love again, I responded that I believed she will. I also tried to encourage her by saying that she is "loved by someone out there" and that although it might be hard to imagine it, it is true. She then thanked me and told me that I made her feel better.
The second person asked for a funny picture to make her smile, so I texted a picture of "soundboard bear" from the house of prayer in Dublin. On a sticky note in the picture, it said "Beware of soundboard bear...grrrrr". She thanked me for it since it made her feel better, then we've had a conversation for the last 2 days about what she had been going through. Her best friend died in December from cancer, her 15 year old sister is pregnant and says hurtful things to her, her mom is always working, and she has to take some junior classes in her senior year of high school because she was unable to complete some courses due to having to take care of her grandmother all by herself and all the other emotional things she had been going through. What I find encouraging is that she continues to take care of her grandmother even though her grandmother says bad things about her. With all the hardships she goes through, she can still smile while working at Jack-in-the-Box. She also talked about how she used to go to youth group and church until she no longer had a strong faith in church. She said she went to a bunch of churches, but they all turned her off. However, she still believes in Jesus.
I'm hoping I made an impact in these two strangers. I'll continue to pray for them.
It's also interesting to see how Daisy Love is making an impact in many people. As a six year old with cancer, she continues to display an incredible love for God. It's encouraging me, and I start to pray when I think about her situation.
I would definitely like to continue on the topic of making an impact, but it's late and I should get some sleep. I'll end this with a quote from Ian's blog post.
"You leave imprints on those around you, please strive to leave those marks in love." -Ian Charbonnet
Until next time!
Kenneth
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Some songs on my mind right now...
Yeah, this post is not really about what I have been learning or a topic I have been thinking. It's just going to be a short update about a couple worship songs in my mind right now.
"Happy Day" is a somewhat old song. I'm not talking about the Gospel song from Sister Act. I guess the one in my mind right now is from Tim Hughes. I remember how it used to be played a LOT in high school chapel my senior year of high school. I like it when it begins with
Another song that I've been hearing a lot of and isn't really getting old for me is "How He Loves". Originally written by John Mark Mcmillan, many people have covered it. The versions that usually play in my head are David Crowder Band or Kim Walker from Jesus Culture. The first few lines are one of my favorite parts of the song.
This seems like a filler post, but I just randomly felt like writing about this at 3AM. I should probably get some sleep. If I feel like it, I might edit this post later with more songs.
Until next time!
"Happy Day" is a somewhat old song. I'm not talking about the Gospel song from Sister Act. I guess the one in my mind right now is from Tim Hughes. I remember how it used to be played a LOT in high school chapel my senior year of high school. I like it when it begins with
"the greatest day in history,I'm sure anyone reading this might find this song kind of cheesy, but I like the basic feeling of where you should be happy because of what Jesus did on the cross for us.
death is beaten,
you have rescued me..."
Another song that I've been hearing a lot of and isn't really getting old for me is "How He Loves". Originally written by John Mark Mcmillan, many people have covered it. The versions that usually play in my head are David Crowder Band or Kim Walker from Jesus Culture. The first few lines are one of my favorite parts of the song.
"He is jealous for me,It reminds me of how fragile we are compared to God. This is a song about, as the title of it says, how he loves us. "If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking" is another line I find powerful. Finally, there's the line "So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss". Some versions say "unforeseen kiss" instead. I don't see a reason for the change, but I like "sloppy wet kiss better". It feels more like he's a close father. Either way, it doesn't really matter how that line is done. It is still a powerful line in my opinion.
loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy..."
This seems like a filler post, but I just randomly felt like writing about this at 3AM. I should probably get some sleep. If I feel like it, I might edit this post later with more songs.
Until next time!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Jesus Culture and Weekend at Redding
The last half of this week and what has happened during the weekend so far had been amazing. Jesus Culture was an amazing experience. Before I get into detail, I might as well talk about other things that happened over the summer.
I have been going to Ian’s house every Tuesday over the summer for worship nights. One of the nights we went camping, and I had an amazing time worshipping out at Lake Del Valle. That has been one way God had been encouraging me. Daisy Love Merrick’s cancer also came back. Although it is a terrible thing, it encouraged me to pray more often. Reading blog posts for different people on different summer projects has also been encouraging. It is also nice going to both Wildfire and T4 and seeing the teenagers there. I also started attending Roots, the young adults group for Valley Christian.
Preparing to come to Jesus Culture has also been a learning experience. I found out it would start right before I took my finals for my summer cultural anthropology class, so I had to ask if I could take my final early. God provided and I was able to take it the day before leaving for Jesus Culture. Then I had to ask my parents for permission to pay fifty bucks for registration. God gave me the courage to ask, and my mom let me go since I did not have school during it. Then the hardest challenge was to find housing. I asked some friends I knew who attends or attended Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry whether they knew of places to stay. They all said that their friends would be out of town, or in Adam’s case, he is not allowed to house me because of a contract and a roommate. They recommended I stay at Simpson University’s dorm. I called and they were booked. I finally asked a couple people I met while down at UCSB. Kelsey (who went for two quarters) said she could not house me because she would be on vacation. Christa on the other hand was able to let me stay at her grandma’s house. I finally found a place to stay from July 28th to July 31st.
However, I still needed to find a place to stay until August 1st so I could attend Bethel that Sunday. I asked Adam and Misha if they knew of a place. They told me to search Bethel’s site, but since I was not a student of Bethel, I would not be able to find a bulletin. Adam also asked if I could find a place for one of his friends, Alex. As time got closer, I continued to pray about it. On the Sunday night before Jesus Culture, Misha sends a message through facebook chat to me and sent me a couple of contact information for places she found on Bethel’s website. I contact both places, and finally decided Alex and I would stay at this one apartment with two bedrooms. We split the cost so we only had to pay $30 for the 31st to August 1st. The owners even said they usually had a 2-night minimum stay, so I feel blessed to even stay for one night. I also decided to provide a ride for Alex, which some people told me was a huge blessing. While on the way up to Redding, Alex got a call for a place he could stay until the 31st. Through all this, I see how God provides when we ask.
While up in Jesus Culture, I learned quite a lot from the messages. Actually taking notes helped me stay awake through most of it even though I was exhausted by the end. I loved the worship there. I also went on Sundial Bridge Thursday night. From here, I’ll split into paragraphs by sessions.
July 28th, Wednesday night, Lou Engle talked a lot about revival and how we can’t waste our time since we are called to do greater things. He also said that we should care more about how far we can go and not how little we can do. We don’t take prophetic words seriously enough. Lou Engle also said “Let the Bible dictate the doctrine of truth.”
Thursday morning, Jake Hamilton led an awesome worship time. He then talked about how we have bought onto a bunch of lies and that we should worship for God and not for people. One of the things he stated was “If you want to be a great leader, go somewhere worth following.” We need to stop worrying about making people happy and worry about making people holy. He also changed my thinking when he told us that the moment when we think we don’t need denominations is when we are rebellion. It is the same when we think we are right and leadership is wrong. The world does not reject us for laying hands on the sick; it rejects us for not being part of its system. We tend to linger on what people in the past did instead of what we can do. Jake Hamilton talked about how we lead worship in rebellion sometimes because we are afraid that if we make our own worship, others would judge us. We all have our own sound even if it’s not singing. Instead of copying others, we need to make our own sound when we worship. That does not mean to stop singing well known worship songs. If it really expresses what’s in our hearts, we should go for it. God wants worship that brings justice and righteousness. Jake Hamilton’s definition of worship is “sacrifice that displays love”. The words better move you before you put chords into it. Nowadays we base worship on what we like instead of what God was doing. It should not just be “let’s sing songs”. Worship is a mystery, and we would never have intimacy if we just fill in the blanks. There are some other things he goes on about before saying God doesn’t need us to defend Him.
That last part where God doesn’t need us to defend Him was tested on Friday. Brittany, who has been trying hard to defend God on formspring, decided God can handle it. During lunch, we decided to go to Mt. Shasta Mall. Brittany decided we should go pray for a random guy, so when we went over to ask if he needed prayer, he took out a receipt and tried to convince us Jesus didn’t exist because Caesar would have killed him earlier with all the followers he had. Brittany decided that God doesn’t need her to defend Him, so we walked away when he was done talking.
Thursday afternoon was my time to go treasure hunting. I went to Cypress Starbucks/Safeway. I was on a team with the leader of our group in the area. I also met Oleg and Alina, both from Sacramento although Oleg was originally from Russia. It was Oleg and Alina’s first time treasure hunting. I felt that we were supposed to go to Starbucks, so we walked there. On the way there, I thought of a cow, so I wrote down cow. While in there, Oleg noticed a boy drinking milk with a picture of a cow on the carton. We decided to talk to his family, and it turns out they have a ranch. They were in Redding on vacation, so we just prayed for them about that. While in there, Oleg was focused on a guy. When we went out, he thought of “smoking”. Then the man he was focused on earlier came out smoking. We talked to him for a good thirty minutes. Originally he was skeptical about us. He asked why God can’t be a girl and talked about how Bethel people prayed for him before but he didn’t get healed. As we prayed for him, our leader and Oleg kept getting words and told him how they feel he has issues with his son and it’s caused from a not so great one with his father. There was more detail to that, but as he was told them, we could tell he was paying more attention to us when he took off his sunglasses and looked at us. He told us how he just found out he had a son for 18 years he didn’t know about until now and that he was going to visit his dad whom he didn’t see for 40 years. Then he talked about how he was praying for signs from God if he existed. It was great knowing we planted a seed in him.
That night, Sean Smith spoke. He also spoke Friday morning. It was great seeing Brandon and Brittany Smith there as well. Sean spoke about how we should know our spiritual identity and how it’s a big problem that many people have no idea who they are. He also talked about how we should not be afraid to stand up. Friday morning he talked about how there is nothing that could ever take the place of the Holy Spirit in the church and 75% of our generation experience supernatural in the wrong ways. The enemy is stealing from us what God created us to represent. God wants His people to have an encounter which is meant to equip them. He wants us to be blown away. Sean then asked if we are being led by intellect or the spirit. He talked about how doubt neutralizes our faith because we tend to rationalize things. The greatest skill believers can have is being able to be in the presence of God. Sean talked about how a Christianity that only affects the surface is ineffective. The point in seeing something in the Spirit is to seize it. The Israelites who left Egypt associated fear with God. We should not have to wait to receive.
During the Friday morning service, God’s presence was definitely felt. Everyone was filled with the Holy Spirit, and some people received tongues for the first time. I felt wrecked by God, but I express it by laughing. It wasn’t that I wanted to laugh; I just couldn’t control laughter coming out of me. I also fell on my knees, then fell to the ground and couldn’t get up. I haven’t felt the Spirit so strongly in a while. I also hadn’t spoke in tongues in a while. It was an amazing service.
When I went to the Words of Knowledge workshop with Jerry Niswander, he talked about when you get words of knowledge and gave examples.
1.You will be able to feel the Holy Spirit
2.Seeing things/visions
3.You can read it
4.An impression/thought will come into mind
5.Words of knowledge can come through speaking/conversation
6.Have a dream or vision
Then I went to the Moral Revolution workshop by Kris Vallotton. He talked a bunch about purity stuff. He was definitely an awesome speaker, and I learned a lot from it. He also talked about how the modern church tends to show sex as a bad thing when God created it for us to be a good thing. It’s just that we need to learn to manage it and save it for marriage. He talked about how we should make our stances earlier instead of by circumstances. If you aren’t sure you are going to lose your virginity before marriage, chances are you will. You need to make the stance and say yes to keep it if you want to. Guys need to have plans and to protect girls. Marriage is “I give myself to you” while co-habitation is “I’m here to get as much as I can”. Co-habitation is more out of fear.
Friday night service, Cindy Jacobs spoke. By that time, I was so exhausted I kept dozing off and didn’t really pay attention. All I got from it is “Where is the Justice League” and God has been waiting for a generation to be super heroes. She talked about how Christians need to stop being relevant to the culture, and it should be relevant to us. We need to have a foundation. Also, we should have “Not on my watch” in mind. She invited different nations to pray on stage. I definitely experienced the Holy Spirit that night.
After it ended, Wildfire started a fire tunnel. I was part of the fire tunnel and was waiting until everyone got through to go in line. The line was so long that security had to kick us out before I even got a chance to go through it. It was an amazing experience.
Saturday comes…I went into the healing service at Bethel in the morning. That was awesome, and I felt the Holy Spirit move there. Around 6, I decided to go to Taco Bell to get dinner. Alex had to go with me because I was his ride. When we got there, I noticed a homeless family sign with a lady and her son sitting on a sidewalk. We decided to get dinner for them, so we walked over and asked if they would like anything from Taco Bell. After Alex bought what they wanted, we went over and started talking to them. The mother’s name was Casey and her 10 year old son was DJ. They talked about how they had been homeless since March, and how her husband basically abandoned them and came back to still have issues. Her daughter was sleeping over at a friend’s house, and her oldest son was with the father. They lived at a hotel, but now they are locked out and can’t get their stuff until they pay for it. We listened about her hardships and how she wants to keep custody of her children while her mother-in-law is trying to take custody. A lot of people judge her as being a bad mother since she’s homeless, but we could tell she is trying her hardest to be there for her kids. We prayed for them a bit and ate with them. We also noticed how some cars actually stop to give cash to them, and a girl even gave her a bag of burritos for later. Casey saved the burritos for her daughter because the daughter loves burritos but she doesn’t. Spending some time with them was definitely a highlight of this trip even though there’s no reason I have to. I enjoyed keeping them company although Casey and Alex did most of the talking.
Well, it has definitely been an awesome trip. I think I’m going to end with a quote Alex got from a book he’s reading now.
“Do you know what it means to be filled with God? It means you have no fear, for when you are filled with God, you are filled with love, and perfect love casts out fear.” –Smith Wigglesworth
I have been going to Ian’s house every Tuesday over the summer for worship nights. One of the nights we went camping, and I had an amazing time worshipping out at Lake Del Valle. That has been one way God had been encouraging me. Daisy Love Merrick’s cancer also came back. Although it is a terrible thing, it encouraged me to pray more often. Reading blog posts for different people on different summer projects has also been encouraging. It is also nice going to both Wildfire and T4 and seeing the teenagers there. I also started attending Roots, the young adults group for Valley Christian.
Preparing to come to Jesus Culture has also been a learning experience. I found out it would start right before I took my finals for my summer cultural anthropology class, so I had to ask if I could take my final early. God provided and I was able to take it the day before leaving for Jesus Culture. Then I had to ask my parents for permission to pay fifty bucks for registration. God gave me the courage to ask, and my mom let me go since I did not have school during it. Then the hardest challenge was to find housing. I asked some friends I knew who attends or attended Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry whether they knew of places to stay. They all said that their friends would be out of town, or in Adam’s case, he is not allowed to house me because of a contract and a roommate. They recommended I stay at Simpson University’s dorm. I called and they were booked. I finally asked a couple people I met while down at UCSB. Kelsey (who went for two quarters) said she could not house me because she would be on vacation. Christa on the other hand was able to let me stay at her grandma’s house. I finally found a place to stay from July 28th to July 31st.
However, I still needed to find a place to stay until August 1st so I could attend Bethel that Sunday. I asked Adam and Misha if they knew of a place. They told me to search Bethel’s site, but since I was not a student of Bethel, I would not be able to find a bulletin. Adam also asked if I could find a place for one of his friends, Alex. As time got closer, I continued to pray about it. On the Sunday night before Jesus Culture, Misha sends a message through facebook chat to me and sent me a couple of contact information for places she found on Bethel’s website. I contact both places, and finally decided Alex and I would stay at this one apartment with two bedrooms. We split the cost so we only had to pay $30 for the 31st to August 1st. The owners even said they usually had a 2-night minimum stay, so I feel blessed to even stay for one night. I also decided to provide a ride for Alex, which some people told me was a huge blessing. While on the way up to Redding, Alex got a call for a place he could stay until the 31st. Through all this, I see how God provides when we ask.
While up in Jesus Culture, I learned quite a lot from the messages. Actually taking notes helped me stay awake through most of it even though I was exhausted by the end. I loved the worship there. I also went on Sundial Bridge Thursday night. From here, I’ll split into paragraphs by sessions.
July 28th, Wednesday night, Lou Engle talked a lot about revival and how we can’t waste our time since we are called to do greater things. He also said that we should care more about how far we can go and not how little we can do. We don’t take prophetic words seriously enough. Lou Engle also said “Let the Bible dictate the doctrine of truth.”
Thursday morning, Jake Hamilton led an awesome worship time. He then talked about how we have bought onto a bunch of lies and that we should worship for God and not for people. One of the things he stated was “If you want to be a great leader, go somewhere worth following.” We need to stop worrying about making people happy and worry about making people holy. He also changed my thinking when he told us that the moment when we think we don’t need denominations is when we are rebellion. It is the same when we think we are right and leadership is wrong. The world does not reject us for laying hands on the sick; it rejects us for not being part of its system. We tend to linger on what people in the past did instead of what we can do. Jake Hamilton talked about how we lead worship in rebellion sometimes because we are afraid that if we make our own worship, others would judge us. We all have our own sound even if it’s not singing. Instead of copying others, we need to make our own sound when we worship. That does not mean to stop singing well known worship songs. If it really expresses what’s in our hearts, we should go for it. God wants worship that brings justice and righteousness. Jake Hamilton’s definition of worship is “sacrifice that displays love”. The words better move you before you put chords into it. Nowadays we base worship on what we like instead of what God was doing. It should not just be “let’s sing songs”. Worship is a mystery, and we would never have intimacy if we just fill in the blanks. There are some other things he goes on about before saying God doesn’t need us to defend Him.
That last part where God doesn’t need us to defend Him was tested on Friday. Brittany, who has been trying hard to defend God on formspring, decided God can handle it. During lunch, we decided to go to Mt. Shasta Mall. Brittany decided we should go pray for a random guy, so when we went over to ask if he needed prayer, he took out a receipt and tried to convince us Jesus didn’t exist because Caesar would have killed him earlier with all the followers he had. Brittany decided that God doesn’t need her to defend Him, so we walked away when he was done talking.
Thursday afternoon was my time to go treasure hunting. I went to Cypress Starbucks/Safeway. I was on a team with the leader of our group in the area. I also met Oleg and Alina, both from Sacramento although Oleg was originally from Russia. It was Oleg and Alina’s first time treasure hunting. I felt that we were supposed to go to Starbucks, so we walked there. On the way there, I thought of a cow, so I wrote down cow. While in there, Oleg noticed a boy drinking milk with a picture of a cow on the carton. We decided to talk to his family, and it turns out they have a ranch. They were in Redding on vacation, so we just prayed for them about that. While in there, Oleg was focused on a guy. When we went out, he thought of “smoking”. Then the man he was focused on earlier came out smoking. We talked to him for a good thirty minutes. Originally he was skeptical about us. He asked why God can’t be a girl and talked about how Bethel people prayed for him before but he didn’t get healed. As we prayed for him, our leader and Oleg kept getting words and told him how they feel he has issues with his son and it’s caused from a not so great one with his father. There was more detail to that, but as he was told them, we could tell he was paying more attention to us when he took off his sunglasses and looked at us. He told us how he just found out he had a son for 18 years he didn’t know about until now and that he was going to visit his dad whom he didn’t see for 40 years. Then he talked about how he was praying for signs from God if he existed. It was great knowing we planted a seed in him.
That night, Sean Smith spoke. He also spoke Friday morning. It was great seeing Brandon and Brittany Smith there as well. Sean spoke about how we should know our spiritual identity and how it’s a big problem that many people have no idea who they are. He also talked about how we should not be afraid to stand up. Friday morning he talked about how there is nothing that could ever take the place of the Holy Spirit in the church and 75% of our generation experience supernatural in the wrong ways. The enemy is stealing from us what God created us to represent. God wants His people to have an encounter which is meant to equip them. He wants us to be blown away. Sean then asked if we are being led by intellect or the spirit. He talked about how doubt neutralizes our faith because we tend to rationalize things. The greatest skill believers can have is being able to be in the presence of God. Sean talked about how a Christianity that only affects the surface is ineffective. The point in seeing something in the Spirit is to seize it. The Israelites who left Egypt associated fear with God. We should not have to wait to receive.
During the Friday morning service, God’s presence was definitely felt. Everyone was filled with the Holy Spirit, and some people received tongues for the first time. I felt wrecked by God, but I express it by laughing. It wasn’t that I wanted to laugh; I just couldn’t control laughter coming out of me. I also fell on my knees, then fell to the ground and couldn’t get up. I haven’t felt the Spirit so strongly in a while. I also hadn’t spoke in tongues in a while. It was an amazing service.
When I went to the Words of Knowledge workshop with Jerry Niswander, he talked about when you get words of knowledge and gave examples.
1.You will be able to feel the Holy Spirit
2.Seeing things/visions
3.You can read it
4.An impression/thought will come into mind
5.Words of knowledge can come through speaking/conversation
6.Have a dream or vision
Then I went to the Moral Revolution workshop by Kris Vallotton. He talked a bunch about purity stuff. He was definitely an awesome speaker, and I learned a lot from it. He also talked about how the modern church tends to show sex as a bad thing when God created it for us to be a good thing. It’s just that we need to learn to manage it and save it for marriage. He talked about how we should make our stances earlier instead of by circumstances. If you aren’t sure you are going to lose your virginity before marriage, chances are you will. You need to make the stance and say yes to keep it if you want to. Guys need to have plans and to protect girls. Marriage is “I give myself to you” while co-habitation is “I’m here to get as much as I can”. Co-habitation is more out of fear.
Friday night service, Cindy Jacobs spoke. By that time, I was so exhausted I kept dozing off and didn’t really pay attention. All I got from it is “Where is the Justice League” and God has been waiting for a generation to be super heroes. She talked about how Christians need to stop being relevant to the culture, and it should be relevant to us. We need to have a foundation. Also, we should have “Not on my watch” in mind. She invited different nations to pray on stage. I definitely experienced the Holy Spirit that night.
After it ended, Wildfire started a fire tunnel. I was part of the fire tunnel and was waiting until everyone got through to go in line. The line was so long that security had to kick us out before I even got a chance to go through it. It was an amazing experience.
Saturday comes…I went into the healing service at Bethel in the morning. That was awesome, and I felt the Holy Spirit move there. Around 6, I decided to go to Taco Bell to get dinner. Alex had to go with me because I was his ride. When we got there, I noticed a homeless family sign with a lady and her son sitting on a sidewalk. We decided to get dinner for them, so we walked over and asked if they would like anything from Taco Bell. After Alex bought what they wanted, we went over and started talking to them. The mother’s name was Casey and her 10 year old son was DJ. They talked about how they had been homeless since March, and how her husband basically abandoned them and came back to still have issues. Her daughter was sleeping over at a friend’s house, and her oldest son was with the father. They lived at a hotel, but now they are locked out and can’t get their stuff until they pay for it. We listened about her hardships and how she wants to keep custody of her children while her mother-in-law is trying to take custody. A lot of people judge her as being a bad mother since she’s homeless, but we could tell she is trying her hardest to be there for her kids. We prayed for them a bit and ate with them. We also noticed how some cars actually stop to give cash to them, and a girl even gave her a bag of burritos for later. Casey saved the burritos for her daughter because the daughter loves burritos but she doesn’t. Spending some time with them was definitely a highlight of this trip even though there’s no reason I have to. I enjoyed keeping them company although Casey and Alex did most of the talking.
Well, it has definitely been an awesome trip. I think I’m going to end with a quote Alex got from a book he’s reading now.
“Do you know what it means to be filled with God? It means you have no fear, for when you are filled with God, you are filled with love, and perfect love casts out fear.” –Smith Wigglesworth
Monday, June 21, 2010
Thanks for an amazing first year of college
So here is the promised post where I get to thanks groups and specific people for how they affected me my first year...actually it's more like I'm gonna talk about what I like about people, but I'm also thanking people. I'm probably going to forget mentioning people or writing things, so I apologize in advance. Honestly, there's too many people for me to mention. Note: I wrote down 46 names, but that's too much so I cut down...a lot. I even cut ones I finished. Sorry if you aren't one of the specifics I mentioned.
To start, I'll go with groups.
AGO - You guys are awesome! You were the first people I met at Santa Barbara because when I was moving into the dorms, I called for you guys to help me move in! Of course, I ended up not really needing much help, but I'm going to thank you for showing up anyways! It was your mass e-mail to random people that introduced me to the fraternity before I even started my first year. It was a joy hanging out with you guys. I also did enjoy pledging during spring quarter while it lasted. Honestly, I never thought I would try pledging for a fraternity, but the idea of a Christ centered fraternity (and the fact I knew Molloy from back home while knowing Finnegan and Bracken from my hall)influenced me to try it out. I'm not totally sure if I'm going to try pledging again due to the time and financial commitment involved (that's something I need to pray about), but I will most surely enjoy visiting and hanging out in the future.
Real Life - I did not really attend too much during Fall quarter because of homework for econ class due at the same night, so I only went to fall retreat, Christmas party, and a few meetings. Winter quarter I went every week because of no classes Fridays. I can definitely say I enjoyed attending it every week and all the things you guys put up. It was a great place to meet so many people, and I definitely made a lot of friends from different classes. There are times where people will say hi to me and I feel bad about not knowing their names. I think it should be a good thing since that says that you guys are a loving group. I hope some of the friends I made here are life lasting.
Epic - I love the Epic ohana! I didn't attend at all during Fall quarter because I felt it focuses more on Asian Americans and I didn't want to just hang out with Asians. Obviously that changed by Fall quarter after some people invited me, and I've enjoyed attending (even though I fall asleep sometimes from exhaustion :P). I'm sure I will always remember the Disneyland trip we went on together for Give a Day Get a Day. I've also met people here who don't really attend Real Life. It's great to be a part of a group I can directly call 'ohana'.
Last but not least Real Life Class of 2013 - Yes, you apply to Real Life as well, but we also hung out so much outside of Real Life that I feel I should include it as its own category. It was great getting close to all of you. I enjoyed giving rides to many people, whether it was to all the random events or to Reality. I've made so many memories with you guys, and I hope we can stay close as a group. I loved the worship nights we had, and all the last minute stuff too! We'll for sure try winning BOTA in the future. ;)
And now for individuals which I'll try putting in ABC order so that I can try not playing favorites.
Alex Johnson - Thanks for being a great listener. I wish I could have talked to you about more stuff, but I was having more fun than actual problems to talk about. I like how you brave the cold a lot to do worship at campus point every couple of Sundays. I think I first officially met you when I went to late night for the first time and randomly saw you and Meredith. I hope to get to know you better next year.
Alex 'Finnegan' Paige - You are one of the first people I met at UCSB since you live on my floor. I remember the first night in FT during the ice cream social by the pool, I went back up to the 9th floor. Then I noticed you happened to be playing worship music there. Thanks for doing that. I loved the worship session. Sadly we didn't do anymore after even though we said we would.
Amanda Chiang - You are awesome! It was nice getting to know you in all the Real Life and Epic stuff. It was also cool hanging out with all the freshmen stuff. Thanks for letting Epic stay at your house for Disneyland, and I enjoyed meeting your family. It was also cool getting lots of meals together. We are definitely gonna chill when school starts again, and I pray that you grow a lot on your Hawaii summer project.
Andrew Melton - Thanks for trying to invite people to hang out a lot. I enjoyed eating with you at Ortega a lot. You are very humble. I like how you try to get our class organized and that you participate a lot. Thanks for planning Bible study over the summer as well. I will definitely be seeing you.
Claire Anderson - You are awesome! I love having conversations about our spiritual lives, and I thank you for that. It was nice giving you rides too. I like how you always listen to Hillsong United's I <3 Revolution album in my car. You commit so much time to Real Life. I will definitely enjoy hanging out with you next year.
Cody Miller - I'm going to directly quote the wall post I have on your wall. "I like your heart for God and how deep into worship you get for him. Sometimes I wish I could go as deep as you when you worship Him! I also like how you show up to the Real Life freshmen stuff." Your heart to worship inspires me. Seriously. Definitely need to get to know you better.
David Salazar - You are amazing! You are one of the reasons I randomly show up to Destino before having to go to Gospel choir. I enjoy your positive energy. Definitely cool getting meals with you and hanging out at all the Real Life stuff. Also nice seeing you at the plex whenever we happen to be there at the same time. I love how you are so lovable. I pray that you grow with your experiences in Santa Monica summer project. You are so blessed. Thanks for being an awesome friend.
Ian Charbonnet- I like your sense of humor. I may not get it all the time, but I enjoy it. I love how you organize a whole bunch of stuff for the Real Life class of 2013 to get together. I remember I officially met you from organizing rides to broom ball during the beginning of winter quarter. It was great seeing you take a lot of initiative, and I enjoyed hanging out a lot with you. I definitely need to hang out with you over the summer since you are only in Danville.
Jordan Marshall - So you are apparently one of the two non-class of 2013 people on this list...you should feel special. It was so nice meeting you on the day of the Real Life Christmas party. It's hilarious how we decided to do a song together and only got a little time to practice a few hours before the party. You are such an awesome friend! Thanks for helping me with my walk with God.
Katie Klezek - I enjoy your positive energy. I'd describe you as happy-go-lucky. Thanks for bringing so much joy to everyone. It was great hanging out a lot. I will forever remember you for the baby cradle sign whenever we play signs during Real Life retreats until the middle of the night. I can't wait to see how God blesses you in the future.
Matt Butin - Thanks for being an awesome friend and asking how I'm doing all the time. I loved visiting you at the plex or at the information booth at the hub. You are a fun person to hang out with. Definitely need to hang out more before you graduate.
Meredith Cabaniss - Thanks for being such an awesome person! I love how you participate in everything, lending your car for BOTA, and how spontaneous you are with your plans. Definitely a lot of emphasis on 'spontaneous' like the last minute plan a couple nights ago to have you stay the night at my house on the way down to SB. I found that to be quite hilarious. Also, thanks for all the music you gave me. I like how randomly awkward our friendship is. There's so much I could talk about. I'll be praying for your summer project in the middle east.
Michelle Quezada - Thanks for being an inspiration. I love your heart for God and how deep you get into worship. You have an amazing voice. I'm glad we live close enough that I could see you sometimes over the summer, and I definitely think we need to hang out more.
Again sorry if I was going to mention you but didn't because I had to cut down.
Until next time,
Kenneth
To start, I'll go with groups.
AGO - You guys are awesome! You were the first people I met at Santa Barbara because when I was moving into the dorms, I called for you guys to help me move in! Of course, I ended up not really needing much help, but I'm going to thank you for showing up anyways! It was your mass e-mail to random people that introduced me to the fraternity before I even started my first year. It was a joy hanging out with you guys. I also did enjoy pledging during spring quarter while it lasted. Honestly, I never thought I would try pledging for a fraternity, but the idea of a Christ centered fraternity (and the fact I knew Molloy from back home while knowing Finnegan and Bracken from my hall)influenced me to try it out. I'm not totally sure if I'm going to try pledging again due to the time and financial commitment involved (that's something I need to pray about), but I will most surely enjoy visiting and hanging out in the future.
Real Life - I did not really attend too much during Fall quarter because of homework for econ class due at the same night, so I only went to fall retreat, Christmas party, and a few meetings. Winter quarter I went every week because of no classes Fridays. I can definitely say I enjoyed attending it every week and all the things you guys put up. It was a great place to meet so many people, and I definitely made a lot of friends from different classes. There are times where people will say hi to me and I feel bad about not knowing their names. I think it should be a good thing since that says that you guys are a loving group. I hope some of the friends I made here are life lasting.
Epic - I love the Epic ohana! I didn't attend at all during Fall quarter because I felt it focuses more on Asian Americans and I didn't want to just hang out with Asians. Obviously that changed by Fall quarter after some people invited me, and I've enjoyed attending (even though I fall asleep sometimes from exhaustion :P). I'm sure I will always remember the Disneyland trip we went on together for Give a Day Get a Day. I've also met people here who don't really attend Real Life. It's great to be a part of a group I can directly call 'ohana'.
Last but not least Real Life Class of 2013 - Yes, you apply to Real Life as well, but we also hung out so much outside of Real Life that I feel I should include it as its own category. It was great getting close to all of you. I enjoyed giving rides to many people, whether it was to all the random events or to Reality. I've made so many memories with you guys, and I hope we can stay close as a group. I loved the worship nights we had, and all the last minute stuff too! We'll for sure try winning BOTA in the future. ;)
And now for individuals which I'll try putting in ABC order so that I can try not playing favorites.
Alex Johnson - Thanks for being a great listener. I wish I could have talked to you about more stuff, but I was having more fun than actual problems to talk about. I like how you brave the cold a lot to do worship at campus point every couple of Sundays. I think I first officially met you when I went to late night for the first time and randomly saw you and Meredith. I hope to get to know you better next year.
Alex 'Finnegan' Paige - You are one of the first people I met at UCSB since you live on my floor. I remember the first night in FT during the ice cream social by the pool, I went back up to the 9th floor. Then I noticed you happened to be playing worship music there. Thanks for doing that. I loved the worship session. Sadly we didn't do anymore after even though we said we would.
Amanda Chiang - You are awesome! It was nice getting to know you in all the Real Life and Epic stuff. It was also cool hanging out with all the freshmen stuff. Thanks for letting Epic stay at your house for Disneyland, and I enjoyed meeting your family. It was also cool getting lots of meals together. We are definitely gonna chill when school starts again, and I pray that you grow a lot on your Hawaii summer project.
Andrew Melton - Thanks for trying to invite people to hang out a lot. I enjoyed eating with you at Ortega a lot. You are very humble. I like how you try to get our class organized and that you participate a lot. Thanks for planning Bible study over the summer as well. I will definitely be seeing you.
Claire Anderson - You are awesome! I love having conversations about our spiritual lives, and I thank you for that. It was nice giving you rides too. I like how you always listen to Hillsong United's I <3 Revolution album in my car. You commit so much time to Real Life. I will definitely enjoy hanging out with you next year.
Cody Miller - I'm going to directly quote the wall post I have on your wall. "I like your heart for God and how deep into worship you get for him. Sometimes I wish I could go as deep as you when you worship Him! I also like how you show up to the Real Life freshmen stuff." Your heart to worship inspires me. Seriously. Definitely need to get to know you better.
David Salazar - You are amazing! You are one of the reasons I randomly show up to Destino before having to go to Gospel choir. I enjoy your positive energy. Definitely cool getting meals with you and hanging out at all the Real Life stuff. Also nice seeing you at the plex whenever we happen to be there at the same time. I love how you are so lovable. I pray that you grow with your experiences in Santa Monica summer project. You are so blessed. Thanks for being an awesome friend.
Ian Charbonnet- I like your sense of humor. I may not get it all the time, but I enjoy it. I love how you organize a whole bunch of stuff for the Real Life class of 2013 to get together. I remember I officially met you from organizing rides to broom ball during the beginning of winter quarter. It was great seeing you take a lot of initiative, and I enjoyed hanging out a lot with you. I definitely need to hang out with you over the summer since you are only in Danville.
Jordan Marshall - So you are apparently one of the two non-class of 2013 people on this list...you should feel special. It was so nice meeting you on the day of the Real Life Christmas party. It's hilarious how we decided to do a song together and only got a little time to practice a few hours before the party. You are such an awesome friend! Thanks for helping me with my walk with God.
Katie Klezek - I enjoy your positive energy. I'd describe you as happy-go-lucky. Thanks for bringing so much joy to everyone. It was great hanging out a lot. I will forever remember you for the baby cradle sign whenever we play signs during Real Life retreats until the middle of the night. I can't wait to see how God blesses you in the future.
Matt Butin - Thanks for being an awesome friend and asking how I'm doing all the time. I loved visiting you at the plex or at the information booth at the hub. You are a fun person to hang out with. Definitely need to hang out more before you graduate.
Meredith Cabaniss - Thanks for being such an awesome person! I love how you participate in everything, lending your car for BOTA, and how spontaneous you are with your plans. Definitely a lot of emphasis on 'spontaneous' like the last minute plan a couple nights ago to have you stay the night at my house on the way down to SB. I found that to be quite hilarious. Also, thanks for all the music you gave me. I like how randomly awkward our friendship is. There's so much I could talk about. I'll be praying for your summer project in the middle east.
Michelle Quezada - Thanks for being an inspiration. I love your heart for God and how deep you get into worship. You have an amazing voice. I'm glad we live close enough that I could see you sometimes over the summer, and I definitely think we need to hang out more.
Again sorry if I was going to mention you but didn't because I had to cut down.
Until next time,
Kenneth
Friday, June 18, 2010
Am I Lukewarm?
There are times where I think "Am I a lukewarm?" It's times like these I question my motives for what I believe in...why I do the things I do. Do I do it for love of Jesus, or do I do it out of fear I don't get into heaven.
Just yesterday I decided to buy the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Today I got to the chapters "Profile of the Lukewarm" and "Serving Leftovers to a Holy God". They got me thinking about those again. My mind tells me that I am the way I am because I love God, but sometimes I think "What if it's because I want to feel accepted, to have friends..."
This book talked about how when people read the parable about the different kinds of soils, many people assume they are the good soil when most are probable the thorny soil. Am I one of the thorny soil? I want to believe that I'm a good soil, but I know that it may not be true. I want to be good soil and soak in God's word, but I know I get distracted by so many things. One moment I could be thinking about reading the Bible, then the next I would be on facebook or something. I also get distracted by video games and shows or weekly updates of the Naruto manga. I also tend to think a lot about those mediums and what has been happening in them instead of seeking Him with all my attention. I know we as humans can't be perfect, but at the same time, I think we use that as an excuse often to justify ourselves. I also find that I try to get reassurance from friends often when the truth could be totally different from what I think.
One part of the book states:
Recently, I've been reading a chapter of the New Testament a day since Joe, my roommate for the last 7 weeks of my first year at UCSB, decided to have a Bible study where we did that and invited others. As school was getting closer to the end, I remembered us reading the chapter where the rich man was unable to give up his wealth to follow Jesus. In that passage, he talks about how hard it is for the rich to get into heaven. He wants us to be willing to give up everything if we want to follow him. We would not be very effective if we have trouble giving up all we have, whether it's monetary value or housing or even family and friends.
A question I sometimes ask myself is whether I'm willing to leave my life behind to follow Jesus. Would I be willing to leave behind my family and friends? Granted I would not be too troubled if I left behind my mom (which is probably a bad thing), but then I would still have trouble with that since I fear her. I love her for providing, but I find myself more fearful of her anger sometimes. I'm also unsure about whether I would actually be willing to leave my friends. I probably would not have too much trouble leaving them physically, but I'm not sure if I am willing to stop all communication with them. As a result, I feel I might be lukewarm, and that's something I do not want to be.
I would definitely like to hear your thoughts on this subject. This is one that sometimes crosses my mind a lot. I MIGHT do that post about how different people affected me my first year at UCSB, but this subject was on my mind. As a result I felt the need to do this first.
Until next time,
Kenneth
Just yesterday I decided to buy the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Today I got to the chapters "Profile of the Lukewarm" and "Serving Leftovers to a Holy God". They got me thinking about those again. My mind tells me that I am the way I am because I love God, but sometimes I think "What if it's because I want to feel accepted, to have friends..."
This book talked about how when people read the parable about the different kinds of soils, many people assume they are the good soil when most are probable the thorny soil. Am I one of the thorny soil? I want to believe that I'm a good soil, but I know that it may not be true. I want to be good soil and soak in God's word, but I know I get distracted by so many things. One moment I could be thinking about reading the Bible, then the next I would be on facebook or something. I also get distracted by video games and shows or weekly updates of the Naruto manga. I also tend to think a lot about those mediums and what has been happening in them instead of seeking Him with all my attention. I know we as humans can't be perfect, but at the same time, I think we use that as an excuse often to justify ourselves. I also find that I try to get reassurance from friends often when the truth could be totally different from what I think.
One part of the book states:
Most of our thoughts are centered on the money we want to make, the school we want to attend, the body we aspire to have, the spouse we want to marry, the kind of person we want to become.... But the fact is that nothing should concern us more than our relationship with God...I find myself thinking a lot about who I will marry in the future and the kind of person I want to become. Granted, I am concerned with my relationship with God (seeing as I'm writing about my thoughts on this in the first place), but I'm not sure if I'm too distracted with those other thoughts.
Recently, I've been reading a chapter of the New Testament a day since Joe, my roommate for the last 7 weeks of my first year at UCSB, decided to have a Bible study where we did that and invited others. As school was getting closer to the end, I remembered us reading the chapter where the rich man was unable to give up his wealth to follow Jesus. In that passage, he talks about how hard it is for the rich to get into heaven. He wants us to be willing to give up everything if we want to follow him. We would not be very effective if we have trouble giving up all we have, whether it's monetary value or housing or even family and friends.
A question I sometimes ask myself is whether I'm willing to leave my life behind to follow Jesus. Would I be willing to leave behind my family and friends? Granted I would not be too troubled if I left behind my mom (which is probably a bad thing), but then I would still have trouble with that since I fear her. I love her for providing, but I find myself more fearful of her anger sometimes. I'm also unsure about whether I would actually be willing to leave my friends. I probably would not have too much trouble leaving them physically, but I'm not sure if I am willing to stop all communication with them. As a result, I feel I might be lukewarm, and that's something I do not want to be.
I would definitely like to hear your thoughts on this subject. This is one that sometimes crosses my mind a lot. I MIGHT do that post about how different people affected me my first year at UCSB, but this subject was on my mind. As a result I felt the need to do this first.
Until next time,
Kenneth
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