I never thought acne could make a good analogy...

Look at the title. It could be a good analogy...or a crazy farfetched one...

Anyways I'm putting aside an idea for a blog post to write this before I forget this one. Why acne you ask? Well...let's just say it's an issue my mom has with me. You will understand it by the end of the blog post. Story time? I think yes.

Ever since I was junior high, my mom either complained about me being too fat, complained about my dry lips, or complained about me having too much acne. I know it's her way of saying, "This is my way of saying I love you because I am scared that you can't get a wife in the future," but it still bothers me to this day. Whenever I would have an outbreak, she would blame it on:
1) lack of sleep/sleeping too late
2) eating fried food/desserts/not eating enough vegetables
And those things she blame my outbreaks on would give her an excuse to call me a bad boy and reasons to control me.

While those reasons may play a part in acne, I discovered I did not grow as much acne when I am in Santa Barbara and rarely, if ever, have an outbreak. I find that funny because I sleep less in college, have been eating a lot more vegetables than I used to, and have been eating more fried food and desserts in college. Yet, when I am home, I eat less sugary goodness, fried food, and I sleep in a lot. Granted, I still sleep late, but I really don't sleep later than when I am in school. Still, I have outbreaks when I am at home which I somehow do not get in school.

I also noticed that my lips only become dry when I'm back home. I never had to use chap stick when I am at school, but I need to use it when I come back. I decided maybe it is the dry climate here. I googled it, and dry climates can cause acne. I try explaining that to my mom, and she says that cannot be a reason and that it must be the same reasons she always uses. I also reasoned that if it is food, maybe it is all the Chinese food I eat at home. Chinese food tends to be oily, but that mostly applies to restaurants. Home-cooked is a lot healthier.

I am sure that I am right about the climate and my mom is wrong with her reasons, but at the same time, I have to accept that I could be wrong and that my mom would be right. It still does not explain why I have outbreaks at home while I do not in Santa Barbara.

My mom tries to treat my acne through various methods. It includes:
1) forcing me to have facial appointments
2) giving me different products to wash my face with
3) telling me I am not allowed to eat fried food or desserts
4) attempting to make me sleep before midnight (which never really works)
Facial appointments are good for removing the acne that is already there, but it does not prevent it. My mom still thinks going to facial appointments prevents acne. I sometimes feel that using multiple products would cancel each other out...or they just do not work and companies make tons of money by taking advantage of people's insecurities. A quick google search helped me determine that brownies and sugar are not the cause of acne. Sleep may be a reason, but again does not explain why I do not get breakouts in SB.

I just finished watching a movie, and as I passed by Starbucks, I saw Patrick there. I talked to him a little and mentioned the acne problem. He agreed that using products and going to facial appointments may treat the problem on the outside, but it does not stop the cause of the problem. When he said that, I thought, "hey, this sounds like it can make a good analogy..."

And here I am writing this. I think in a lot of areas, people want to solve the outer, most noticeable problems. However, when people are focused on the outside, they do not look deep into the root of the problem. I'm probably guilty of that a lot. There might be a deeper reason I am convinced that my mom is wrong, and a deeper reason for me to want to prove there are other reasons through googling. Ihttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifn a similar fashion, I can see an outside reason for me not wanting to date is that I'm waiting for a clear sign from God saying, "this is the woman you will marry," when there may be a deeper reason like maybe getting rejected when I was younger or something and not wanting to be hurt again. However, that does not mean that the outside reason is not a reason. I still think it is best if I wait for God to tell me "this is the girl you will marry". That way, I don't have to date different people only for them to be obstacles in my future marriage or me being the obstacle in their future marriages. Sorry for going on a random tangent like that, but the point still stands that there may be a different, deeper reason for me choosing to not make certain choices.

I'm sure that is the point of having a sozo. A sozo is a ministry of healing. It goes into deeper healing. According to Bethel, "The Sozo ministry is a unique inner healing and deliverance ministry in which the main aim is to get to the root of those things hindering your personal connection with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit." I probably need to get a sozo. I'm sure there are people who might find this kind of stuff iffy, but I've seen it work with people.

The alternate title for this post could be "Deep Wounds"...but I think the current title sounds funnier. Plus I spent most of the post writing my story about acne problems. My relationship with my mom apparently can bring interesting stories. :P

I can notice problems with myself, but I might not be seeing the deeper issues with my problems. It's definitely something I should pray about. If you also need prayer for deeper issues, I could pray for you too.

Anyways, I need to be driving my brother to the airport in about five hours...

Until next time,
Kenneth

(Kind of) Reflecting on 2011...a cliche title for a New Years post!

Yep. I'm a day late, but whatever. I find that in the past year my relationship with God has not been as high "ethos"-wise (aka emotionally) as it has been for the past few years. I'm hoping that changes this year. Still, it does not necessarily mean I have not felt any emotions in my spiritual life. It just has not stood out as much as in the past. And I know emotion should not be the only thing to define my spiritual life.

Looking at the year from a superficial point of view, it has been an awesome year. It was the first year I had a random shiny Pokemon encounter; and I ended up having three of those. School-wise, I finally changed to a major I enjoy, and my grades have improved that I actually got nothing below an A- my fall quarter. I've had a lot of fun experiences being able to stay in Santa Barbara over the summer.

Looking at this year, I'm thinking God should have been more of a priority. It is kind sad when I noticed this year has been somewhat dry spiritually compared to the few years before it. Granted I did start reading the Bible more, but I feel like I need to be more intentional with my reading. I've noticed I spent less time at the prayer shed behind Jesus Burgers. I do not worship as wholeheartedly as I used to. I also rant a lot. I need to change my attitude...

On December 30th, I decided to go to the night watch at IHOP East Bay (the house of prayer in Dublin). I was there from 10pm to 3am. I wanted to stay until 4am, but my brother called at 3am because he was worried about me. Going to night watch for the first time was amazing for me. It's crazy to think about how there are people dedicated to stay up late in prayer and intercession. I had trouble staying awake as the hour from 1 to 2am was basically 5 minute intervals of being asleep and being awake. It helped me appreciate what they do. It also helped me realize how much I miss going to IHOP and spending my quiet time there. I know I don't have to go to a specific place to be with God, but it is so much easier for me to be away from distractions. Also, a busy school schedule made it hard for me to want to go to the prayer shed in IV (which is now IVHOP).

I definitely want to make more free time to go to IVHOP. I also want to make more time back in the Bay to go to IHOP East Bay without worrying about my mom getting mad at me for going out a lot or going out late. I want my relationship with God to continue to grow.

It is also crazy to see where God is leading everyone. Being back home for more than a week since last winter break has been amazing. I got to catch up with lots of people. Anton now has a part in the LA opera while looking for other jobs. He acts, plays music, writes, and makes art. I would like to visit him in LA. Anthony M is going to graduate this year, and he already got offered a job teaching a couple junior high Bible classes and leading chapel leadership at Valley Christian. It is funny thinking about how I first met him there when I was in 8th grade and he was in 9th grade and that he prayed for me the first time we met. Back then, I would have never expected God to lead him back to teach. He is basically taking Mr. Merrell's teaching spot since Mr. Merrell is going to lead prayer and intercession full time. Ryan has a plan, and it is great to see how God has turned his life around from back when I first knew him in French class in 8th grade. There's just so much more I could talk about, and I am excited to see where He leads me.

Okay, so maybe the title of this post is kind of misleading...I didn't do too much reflecting on the last year. I guess I am looking more towards the future now.

Until next time,
Kenneth