Thursday, November 25, 2010

About Next Summer...

Please be praying for me next summer. I'm still not sure what I am going to do. There are so many things I could do. I want to either go on summer project, stay in Isla Vista and become a part of the 24/7 prayer movement that is starting in the prayer shed, or I could just stay at home and continue to be involved with a couple youth groups and Ian's worship nights. At the same time I know my parents want me to either get an internship of sorts or go to summer school.

The thing about summer school is I can do it back home, in Santa Barbara, or on Santa Monica summer project. Internship...not really something I want to do. It will take a lot of my time that I would rather spend doing other things. Now that I know what I could do with those, I'm going to go into detail about the things I would want to do.

Summer project is a program with Campus Crusade that sends people to different locations of our own choosing to reach out to people. You can get full detail here. Basically we go out and reach out to people while we grow in leadership skills and build friendships. To do this, I would have to raise support by sending out support letters or speaking to people to ask for money. I would definitely have to put my full trust in God through the support raising and know that He will provide. I would also have to think about where I would be going. Some locations I have considered are Santa Monica, Hawaii with Epic, the Middle East, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, or the Blackfeet Indian Reservation.

Santa Monica is the standard one most UCSB students go to. It is eight weeks with Chris Comstock being involved for the first part. Later on, staff will leave it to all the students. In this one I could get a job or go to summer school at the same time. It's the only one I'm considering where you can do that. I've been encouraged by Chris Comstock and many others who have been on it to do this one.

The Epic Hawaii Summer Project is one where we reach out to Asian American students and get to stay on the campus of University of Hawaii. I know some awesome people who have been on it, and I know I can grow more in my identity as an Asian American. Of course, I also have a family reunion in Hawaii and I might leave for a bit to do that, but that probably won't happen since my parents and brothers don't plan on going to that family reunion. It would also be awkward for me to leave project to do that. Well one of the main reasons is to engage in my cultural identity. The location is more of a plus.

The Middle East would probably be the one with the most difficulties. We would be going to a country where the majority is Muslim and where Christians probably face persecution. It would be a great cultural experience as well. I know a few people who have gone and bonded really well with the others on project and the people there. I also think we might visit some Biblical places but I'm not quite sure on that.

Tokyo Summer Project would also be interesting for me. I lived there for three years from fifth grade to seventh grade, and it was the place where I faced some of my toughest times. Jennie led it this year, so I think she's leading next year. The people I know who went on it had an awesome time there, and I think it will be cool to place myself in that culture again. I'm sure I would have to face some tough memories going back, but I know I will enjoy some as well. Oh, and I miss having ramen there.

Australia or New Zealand...to be honest I want to go to them mostly based on location. I don't recall ever going south of the equator as well. I'm sure I will grow in either one anyways.

Finally, the Blackfeet Indian Reservation. It's definitely the cheapest one I picked and is only five weeks. I've taken an interest in Native American cultures in the last few years, so I think it will definitely be awesome to put myself there. I would also like to learn more about the Blackfeet and interact with them. It is definitely one of the more interesting ones I would like to experience but have never actually been a part of.

Those are the projects I am most interested in. It will definitely be tough, but I know I will probably grow a lot in any of them. Even if I go on summer project, I know I can still go back home or to Isla Vista afterwards.

Staying in Isla Vista would probably be good too. I want to get involved in the prayer movement as mentioned earlier, and I definitely think being an intercessor can be effective. I would probably be involved with summer Real Life and continue to attend IVC. Living in IV would definitely be an interesting experience since I've been living in the dorms. I would be able to attend summer school at UCSB, and I could look for a job. I'd probably become more independent by living away from my family. I mostly want to stay to be a part of the 24/7 prayer in the prayer shed and hopefully see it grow.

Finally, I could just stay home. I'd most likely do community college again, but my parents think getting an internship would be a good idea as well. I already talked to Pastor Aaron about possibly being a leader at T4 during the summer. T4 was the youth group I had been a part of since 8th grade. I would also still go to Wildfire, another youth group on Monday nights. They both operate differently with Wildfire being more like IVC, but I still love the kids in them and want to be there for them. I would also be involved with Roots, the young adults group for Valley Christian which T4 is also part of. There is also going to Ian's worship nights at his house. I would definitely be involved in a lot of things if I stayed home. If I went to summer project, I could still do most of these except being a leader at T4 which would require I be at home all summer.

Now that I'm done explaining most of my options, I can go on talking about how God has opened some doors. A couple days ago, my family visited me at UCSB on their way down to LA. In the car, my parents asked what I planned on doing next summer. I explained summer project to them. I remember last summer when I told them that summer project is like a missions trip and my parents were disappointed. At the time, my mom asked if I planned on staying single my whole life because she was afraid I would become a monk. This time they asked what summer project was again and I said it was like missions. They asked how I would do that, and I told them I would have to raise support by asking people. My parents fears about me doing it is that I want to become a pastor in the future and that I won't be able to go to graduate school. I explained that just because people go on summer project doesn't mean that they want to become a pastor. Later on in the conversation my dad says he'll support me in choosing whatever I do as long as it helps me go to grad school. I definitely saw how God opened my parents' hearts a bit to it, but now I have to explain how it would get me to grad school.

To my surprise, my mom also asked if I wanted to go to summer school at UCSB. This came up because of a conversation about getting into relationships. I've definitely told her I am fine being single and I don't need to have a girlfriend. I feel like she thinks I will get into one for some reason if I stayed in Santa Barbara. God definitely opened her heart about me staying in Isla Vista since I remember her as being someone who wants me to be at home when it's not the regular school year.

Prayers are definitely working, but I would like anyone to pray with me more about opening my parents' hearts to whatever I do next summer. I also need prayer about what I will do next summer. In any of the cases I listed above, I know I will continue to grow. I will definitely be seeking God even more.

This is probably my longest post in a while so until next time...
Kenneth

Happy Thanksgiving to you!

Well it is Thanksgiving and I'm back home with my cousins and aunt from Taiwan while my family is down in LA for a tennis tournament. I didn't have a traditional turkey dinner, but I had hot pot instead where you have a pot with soup over a fire to cook whatever you want to put in. I guess it's better than getting a ghetto Thanksgiving dinner by going to Denny's for the third year in a row. Even if I didn't get the kind of Thanksgiving I would like, I'm still thankful for a lot.

I'm definitely thankful for God and all He has done with my life. I'm thankful for my family who, although is not perfect, still love me. I'm thankful that I still have a home to go to, and I sure am thankful that I can live comfortably. I feel blessed to have so many amazing friends either back home or down in Santa Barbara. I am thankful to even be alive, and that's something I give full credit to God for because there was a chance I wouldn't even be born!

I was watching a couple DVDs my dad put old home videos on. It showed me how much my parents love me. Even though I am older now and feel like my parents can be too controlling, I know they think they know what is best for me even if it probably isn't.

I also realized that I was really quiet as a baby compared to my older brother who loved running around and being energetic as a child. Seriously. he liked jumping around making noises and playing with toys while I just watched my surroundings and the only noise I made as a kid was crying because I made a toy fall down one step and couldn't bring it back up. My brother uttered a lot of "words" while riding a toy car trying to make it go fast while I didn't know how to play with it and probably had more interest in the camera. In a way, we are kind of like we were back as toddlers. He grew up to be the kind of person who talks a lot and is the athlete since he plays tennis. I'm still the guy who can be quiet when I'm in a new place surrounded by strangers. I obviously still like to look at my surroundings, and I guess I got my interest in film from my parents filming me as a child. We definitely changed a lot over the years through having different experiences. Even then, I know my older brother probably still cares about me like he did when we were little. Makes me feel kind of sad I don't call them often when I'm in Santa Barbara...

Well I'm definitely bringing the home videos down before Christmas break since it's only two weeks away and I watched Justin Huntsman's right before break. You should totally do that too if you have home videos and I know you from SB. I'm sure it will be tons of fun watching each other as children.

Thanksgiving today is not the same as it was originally intended...you should look into the history of it. We tend to think of the one occasion where Puritans and Native Americans have a meal together and not the rest where it is not that friendly. I kind of wish I went up to Round Valley with a family I know to feed the poor who live there. It would definitely be an interesting experience to have dinner with Native Americans there.

Really the main point of this post is to be thankful for what you have. God has been teaching me to be more thankful recently and not just because it is Thanksgiving. I hope you are feeling thankful about a lot of things and not just thinking of this as a day where you get to pig out on food. I'm actually planning on making another post right now on a different subject, so until then...

Happy Thanksgiving!
Kenneth

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Cliques...Why Do They Exist?

Earlier today (or should I say yesterday since it's past midnight) I decided to read 1 Corinthians 12 while I was in the prayer shed. Verses 12 to 31 talk about unity and diversity in the body. "Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ...Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many."

I know that God gave each of us different gifts. I even remember during Jesus Culture how one of the speakers talked about how denominations should exist because there's no way anyone can get it perfect. Each denomination may get some things right and some things wrong. Even with differences, we should still be united and love each other as we all love Jesus and believe he died on the cross for us. Still, why are we separated into cliques? This is something I wonder sometimes...especially when people mention their existence.

It's funny how I read it earlier in the afternoon, then later at night Katie Klezek brought that part up in a conversation. She asked me if I noticed how everyone is separated into cliques since I tend to hang out at both the Plex and Jesus Burgers house a lot. I love visiting both a lot. They have different things to offer. It is kind of like how I go to two completely different churches back home or how I go to both Reality and IVC here in Santa Barbara. To be honest, I feel like I have noticed the cliques. Sometimes I will hear people from IVC talk about how uncomfortable they feel about Real Life or how Real Life people do not want to go to IVC because it is not their thing.

Even if you don't feel comfortable going to the other, shouldn't you still love on them if they visit? I recently noticed how whenever I go to Real Life, how the IVC students will separate into their little group in the back left corner. In the same way, I noticed how there aren't that many Real Life people who help out at Jesus Burgers and when they do come, they only talk to certain people. I find that kind of sad, "kind of" being an understatement.

I realize that Real Life is supposed to be a group to reach out to newer Christians or non-Christians, so people who are stronger in their faith may not feel like they grow from growing. I also realize that IVC may be too "intense" for people who don't normally attend just because of the way they operate. However, those aren't very good reasons to not talk to each other very much.

I don't want you to think I'm judging you right now, nor do I want you to think I'm trying to guilt trip you to going to the other more. I'm just saying you should still respect the other functions you are not a part of, and love on the people if you happen to see them at your thing or even outside. Invite people you don't normally talk to to coffee or dinner or something. Get to know them better. Verse 27 says, "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it."

I want you to know that as a brother in Christ, I love you. No matter how differently you live out your faith, I love you. Even if you aren't a believer, I love you. I dislike cliques, and that's why I choose to love on everyone.

Until next time,
Kenneth

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Halloween Week, Inheritance and Identity Conference, etc...

I don't think this post will have a specific focus. It's just summarizing what has been going on with me lately.

On November 3rd while I was in the prayer shed, I flipped into two different parts of the Bible randomly. They landed on Psalm 22 and Isaiah 53, both prophetic words about Jesus and what he went through on the cross. What amazes me was I didn't plan on where I opened the Bible to; those chapters just happened to come up. It totally reminded me of how awesome the Bible can be...especially since those books were written many years before the birth of Jesus.

These past two weeks have been pretty crazy. I feel like I'm going through a season of prayer. The last week of October, there was 24/7 prayer in the prayer shed for Halloween. I pretty much went everyday. It was definitely a great experience where I got to spend quiet time with God, read the Bible, being encouraged by people's entries in the prayer journal, worship, and even trying a couple times at prophetic art. Definitely surprised that I don't draw as badly as I thought...I loved how God used that time to give me peace. I also got interpretation on my spiritual language and I found that to be awesome. I've learned to love the broken even more this year, and I learned to love the homeless more and interact with them more. If you want and are able to, you can walk into the prayer shed behind the Jesus Burgers house and I'm sure you can read my entries in the prayer journal.

During this last weekend, I went to the Inheritance and Identity Conference IVC held. It was definitely encouraging and awesome to meet about 40 people from IHOP Kansas City. It was also cool to hear about a couple of them having interacted with people I knew back home. Some things I have been learning with this conference going on it even more are that my main call is to be God's son and that to love is to sacrifice. It has definitely encouraged me since I have been worried off and on about what I'm "called" to do. It's great to know that I don't have to worry because I am God's son and he will help me get to where I need to be. It also taught me that there's still a lot about love I need to learn about.

The prayer time I got to do with friends from IVC and the people of IHOP was amazing. I got "drunk" in the spirit multiple times during the weekend. At the same time, there were times where I feel attacked by my flesh when I wasn't spending time in prayer. Through this, I learned to share more about myself.

I had been sharing my personal testimony quite a few times this year. In the past, I never really shared it mostly because I was afraid it wasn't that great and because not many people really asked. I feel like I'm going through a season where I am becoming a lot more open than I used to. It has been great spending one on one time with different people and sharing my testimony. At the same time, it is great getting encouragement about it as well. I actually plan on sharing my testimony next Monday with freshmen and sophomore men of Real Life during our "Manliest Man Group of All Man Time" meeting. Definitely want to pray that God leads me in what I say and that it will build the others up to have a closer relationship to Him.

It has been a blessing to hang out with IHOP students and to pray with them. I love how they have a heart for God and the time they sacrifice committed to prayer. It was interesting to find that they are encouraged by us because we live in IV and that they feel they would fall if they were in an environment like this. I'm glad we could encourage them, but I still feel like they were a blessing to us as well.

About two nights ago, one of the IHOP students told me to share Isaiah 60:1-5 with the rest of IVC. Since everyone in the room was in prayer and getting drunk off the spirit, I only told one person at the time. However, last night I showed up to IHOP's prayer meeting with Pastor Jason and a few other IVC people in there. During that time, I remembered that I was supposed to share it, and so I read it out loud even though there weren't that many people from IVC. After the prayer meeting, one of the IHOP guys came up to me and told me he saw me as a preacher and commented on the way I spoke. I've definitely never saw myself as a preacher or even a good speaker, so I tried reminding him that someone else told me to share it. He then tells me that that doesn't matter because God still used me to repeat it. I was encouraged by it, but had doubts about being a good speaker due to being socially awkward especially when I speak in front of people. However, a few minutes later, my friend Michelle told me she got a vision for me. She told me that while I was reading out of Isaiah 60, she saw me as a completely different person speaking powerfully in front of a crowd. She was part of the crowd and did not recognize me at first, but she realized it was me. Then she saw through my eyes and saw a large crowd. She then tells me that if I continue to seek God, He will transform me from a socially awkward person to a powerful speaker. I was stunned hearing that, and I had no idea how to respond. She then told me that I should not fear that my testimony is not good enough or fear that people will ignore me. She then prayed boldness over me that I may be able to share my testimony and be brave enough to speak.

Having two people telling me they see me as a speaker hit me hard because I would never see myself as one nor did I ever felt the desire to become one. I've only had a moment where I thought it would be cool to pray over large crowds, and that happened when I was at Jesus Culture and I saw my friend Brandon Smith on stage praying over everyone there. If that is what God wants from me, I pray that he will open my heart to it and open doors because it sounds so cool. I also want to pray that my parents hearts will open to it because I know they are totally against it and want me to get into the business world to become successful according to the world's standards. There is still fear in my heart that my parents will disown me for disobeying or dishonoring them. I definitely know God will provide even if my family never talks to me again, but that fear still has some hold that I want released.

Honestly, I didn't think I'd make this long of a post. I feel kind of narcissistic for mostly talking about myself, but I guess the purpose of the blog is to see how God continually changes me. If you feel like this blog post isn't glorifying God, I apologize because I know I am flawed and I can sometimes focus too much on myself. I pray that in whatever I do, I do it to glorify Him. In conclusion, I hope you are doing well in Him too.

Until next time,
Kenneth